LIFE

Life is not about 'GIVE' & 'TAKE'.
Life is about 'GIVE' & 'RECEIVE'

An Illusion Named God

Everybody has his own belief about God and these come out of different reasons. Thousands of years ago somebody would have discovered the true self within and might have termed it as God. Somebody might have got the similar feeling while he would have looked at the enormity of the universe. Somebody might have witnessed a truly enlightened person and would have termed him as God. These were their own true beliefs, which they ‘felt’. And as it is a very much personal experience, it cannot be replicated, but can only be felt in its originality by every individual.

Coming generations got to know about something called God and they ‘heard’ from different people different explanations. Why some people believe in God and some do not, I think cause for both beliefs is the same. It is like this.

The concept of God is being taught from generations and as the child grows up what he sees around, it becomes deeply engraved. However, what he has learnt is only superficial and has never experienced it. But the continuous teachings, actions and talks around him makes him to believe that what he has learnt is true. As a grown up individual, he knows the concept and he is stuck with it. Though somewhere something within questions it, but he has no answer for it. And he does not dare to answer it, as he is too afraid of letting his deep rooted beliefs to be proved wrong. So he fights for it. He will try to prove everywhere that God exists. He will argue and do all to prove that. What actually he is doing is trying to prove it to himself (and he never succeeds really).

The other extreme implication is like this. Person keeps listening to the concept and something within questions it. He does not find any justified answer to what is being taught. But he is bombarded with the teachings, and society and family force him to believe what is being believed for generations. Now this person explodes on the opposite direction. He becomes against to any such belief which talks about existence of God. He keeps on doing things to prove that God does not exist. But he does it only to prove somebody or something wrong. He never moves to know the truth.

Now both these type of people are simply wasting their valuable energy. They are holding on to a strange concept, which has never been their own (they don’t even know that they have actually adopted it from somebody else) and are trying to prove it right. And what do they gain by proving it right or wrong?

The reality, the truth needs to be realized and experienced within. It is not a principal which can be learnt. But what happens in our society is that the concept of God is taught and every child is stuffed with the knowledge about God. The learning actually proves to be harmful because once you learn something, you either try to justify it, fit it somewhere or stand against it. And this effort takes the consciousness away from the reality lying within. Majority of people are just blindly believing this concept. I am saying blindly because, they learn the concept first and then try to justify its existence by using some reasoning. But it is so dry and superficial and very dangerous as it makes the person prejudiced.

It does not mean that we disprove or ignore the old teachings. We should listen to them without making any judgement on their truth. We should simply understand that somebody is telling us something and we do not know whether it is true or false.

The people who believe in God and people who deny its existence, both are bound by some mental block. There is some intellectual stuff that they want to prove by arguing over something which cannot be argued with people (as it is a personal experience).

Somebody is asking if nature is God, who created nature? It must be God and therefore God exist. Other will ask, if you say somebody must create nature, then somebody must create God also, so who created God? Other would say God has always been there and nobody created it.

Now, let’s just think over it. What do we get out of all this? This is just mental illusion to get satisfaction that what I believe is right. But just probe in within. What you think, you believe, is it really your belief or it is something which has been stuffed into your mind by the society, the family and the people around. Is it something really which you truly believe in?

No belief about God in this society can be termed as right or wrong. But yes, one thing can definitely be said that the beliefs which make the person restricted, which makes him believe that other is wrong, which takes him away from himself, are surely not the right beliefs. The true belief is the one which liberates the person from all limitations, external and internal, which makes him feel respect for the life, which makes him spread the love around and with which he can feel the oneness within.

Compartmentalising Relationships

Friends, good friends, best friends, life partner - These and many more relationships are defined by us. We have named these relations based on our experience for years. And this is required sometimes to consciously know this separation. But it becomes unnecessary effort, when we try to compulsorily fit all individuals in these categories.

Can’t we just be, what we want to be to a person, without naming the relationship? So if I feel like chatting everyday with somebody, I do that. If I feel like doing something for the other, I do that. If I feel like spending life with somebody, I do that. Do we really need to categorise them into some compartments, which we only created and which have only increased the confusion?

Let us look at the beginning of civilisation. Somebody would have felt that he is good person to chat with and I have good time with him. So they started spending time together, sharing their thoughts and doing things together (We call them friends).

And then there is somebody, who feels like - I cannot live without this person. After meeting him/her, he/she becomes an essential part of the life. One feels a completeness with him/her. So they choose to stay together (We call it marriage)

But in these cases, reason comes first and then we name the relationship. Then only purity of relationship remains. What we normally do is, as soon as we meet a person, we try to fit him into a category in our life. So the relationship is named first, and then efforts are taken to adjust things as per that. It cannot sustain. There is such a vast degree of difference in our relationships, that we cannot put two people at same place in our life. They occupy a completely different space.

Take the case of marriage. In real sense, there is no need to do adjustments, sacrifices and so on. What I mean is, even if it looks like a sacrifice to others, it is not actually. So as Ashwita said, the spouse will learn to play the sport, it may look to others that spouse is adjusting or taking extra effort for maintaining marriage. But to him/her, it is gaining happiness from the happiness of life partner. It is so natural, if two people are in love.

But problem happens, when marriages are performed as a ritual, as a necessity. And then two people try to fit themselves into the expected framework. This may work out, but it will require adjustments and sacrifices and these do not sustain for long (at least these cannot let you have the real essence of love). Today there is so much hoopla and gyan on maintaining relationships, the reason is basic feeling is missing. People marry without having the right reason for it. Marriages happen first and then reasons are searched to stay together. That’s not marriage (or at least it was not meant like that, when it would have started).

I think the question is not whether best friend can be a good husband, but point is, anybody you are going to marry, is he the one with whom you want to spend your entire life? Is he the one who gives fulfillment to your life? Is he the one with whom you are yourself? Is he the one with whom your journey of life will be more joyful and enriching? Now, the ones we call as best friends may or may not fit as the part of life. It cannot be generalized. It depends on your way of life and values, and the way you define best friends.

He is mean to me

If somebody feels that people are making fool of him or people are mean to him, the total fault is of the person himself and nobody else. Fault is not about doing something for people who do not value it or try to take advantage out of it. But fault is of doing something and feeling bad about it depending on the reactions of others.

It is true that we all expect people to respond properly for something done by us. It is very normal to feel bad when you know that people are taking advantage out of your generosity.

But first of all, let us see what we are doing? We feel like doing something. We feel like doing it because we wanted to do it. We do it. Now we should be happy about following our heart, about taking an action which WE wanted to take. But what we do - We try to get the acknowledgement from others. Nothing wrong in that. We should take reactions from people. But problem is it goes to the extent that our future actions become dependent on it? So if somebody gave a return smile, we will smile again, but if somebody didn’t, we will hate his face (many times we do not know what was the reason of him not smiling).

Similarly, many times we think that the other person is being mean to us. But it is always better to understand it completely before making interpretation. It is even better to talk it out. But we do not do that, we are more comfortable assuming things, than opening up and saying things as they are.

And it may be that person is trying to take undue advantage of us. but how can a person make us do something which we did not want to do? And if we wanted to do something, and he is taking advantage out of it, let him take. How are we bothered about it? If we feel that something should be done for the other, let’s not do it. But doing it and then cribbing – isn’t it fooling ourselves?

Another aspect of such cases is - it is not only that other people are mean in these cases, but many times person makes himself gullible to such things. He will have a self image of being good to others. He secures acceptability from doing things for others. Now even if he knows that other people are taking advantage of him, he will not have courage to come out and say 'this is enough'. He will continue doing that and will keep cribbing on the back. He will not break his image of being nice and will continue his goody things. He will not understand that by winning others acceptability he is losing self respect. Now if he does not have courage to follow his heart, how can he blame others? The people who support his goody actions, may seem like his friend but they make him even weaker. The reactions they get is rather a good trigger to know that you are following your heart and falling into other’s trap.

They say, if stone and glass crashes and glass breaks, it is not because of stone, but the nature of the glass. This may sound very rude, but it is the fact. This is not to support the mean actions of others. There is no doubt that we all should have gratitude to goodness done to us. But point is, we can’t go and change the world to react as what we wish. We can only work to become strong enough to face any foolish, stupid, mean or shrewd behaviour.

There are people who know what they are doing and are happy about it irrespective of what others say or do about it. They do their part, let people do their own. Everybody is free to do what he or she wishes. If we start bothering about reactions of others, we cannot move even a single step. Everybody has his own way of thinking.

Yes, it is difficult to do acts independent of other’s reactions. But this difficulty is just an illusion. Ask a person (or ask yourself), who has been spoiling his hours and days remembering other’s reactions. Ask him, by doing that what he has done to himself and his time. Is it not difficult to spend time like this? I think doing what we want to do and leaving reactions to other’s choices is much easier. It’s only a matter of knowing it.

Brothers & Sisters - How Chemistry Goes Bad

(Somebody shared his not-so-good relationship with his brother and this came out in repsonse).

We have always heard of great friendship stories. Childhood friends sharing a great relation for the rest of their age. they might not play around same way, but just look at them when they meet after years.

Ever seen such a bonding among siblings? There may be some, but so rare. 90% of the cases, we come across are such where siblings do not share a great bondage. Yes, they share a great deal between them, but still it does not go much beyond blood connection and rarely reaches the intensity of freindhsip (Rather, in many cases, relationship gets spoiled as they grow and start getting settled in their lives). In 9.5% cases, relationship is sour from childhood or teenage itself.

It is surprisingly so familier situation and I am sure that most of us share greater relationships with friends rather than brothers or sisters. And we all have some degree of friction with siblings, ranging from fights over petty matters to the complete cold war. There are in fact very few people who have got their siblings as their best friends. Now this seems so contradictory. They are the ones we know since our childhood and understand them much better than anybody else, and then also we are not able to develop wonderful relationships with them.

If we have a clear look, we might find that most of the times reason does not lie in what we did not do, or what we should have done, or what we need to do, but rather in contamination of relationship with needless considerations we add to the simple chemistry (Rather that’s true with any relationship).

Let’s look at this relationship simply. Here is somebody who knows us and whom we know so well. They are the ones who have cared for us and we have reciprocated. They are here so that the life is more enjoyful. They are here so that joys and sorrows can be shared. They are there so that we can remove our social masks and become the real self and open our hearts and share our feelings. They are there so that we play and laugh together. That is the simple (but very powerful) role for which they are there in our life.

In this simple chemistry, the contamination we bring is reacting to other's reaction. So, last time when I went to him (or anytime I approach him), he did not responded…or yelled at me…or gave me a sarcastic remark…or regarded me as less important and so on.... Yes, these things are painful. But we never go beyond ruminating over our bad feeling. We just withdraw ourselves from talking to him, deciding that talking to them gives pain (that’s our immediate conclusion). It is painful even to face the memory of what happened and so immediate and easiest way is to withdraw. But our mind does not let us go so easily. It reminds us continuously – no he is your brother, how can you have bad relationship with them, no that is not possible. And we get mad between these thoughts (we never go beyond these thoughts and continuous rumination).

We first need to face this reality - Yes, I had painful interaction or events with him. And if I am thinking over it, it means that I want it to transform to good relationship. We might even realize that, we do not want to have great relationship with this person. This is very much possible. It may be that we are moving with burden of obligation to make relationship strong, just because of blood connection. Once we realize this, the way he reacts will not be of any significance.

Whatever it is, let us get clear about what we want first. If we know that a nice relationship will make our life better, we would better see if we can do something about it.

“Let me see, what he did to me. He made this reaction, which I did not like and it hurt me. Why did he do that? Did he know when he did that and whether he is aware about how I feel about it? If not, let me go and ask. But asking for such things feels so embarrassing. What he will think about it? He will think that I am a fool asking such a question? Or he will react even more badly on me asking this? It will be really bad then. Yes it might be. But right now I am feeling miserable. At least here there is a hope. It might be that he did it unintentionally and so things will get clear. My intention is clear – I want good relationship – and so even if I make some mistake in doing that, it is fine. It may be that he is doing that intentionally. Then he needs to answer for that. And even if he does not answer, at least he need to know that I feel bad about it and I want this relationship to give happiness to both of us and to people around us.”

The best thing when we feel uneasiness with anybody, is to express that uneasiness as it is. In 50% cases, the other person immediately opens up and expresses his feelings, though may not be very openly (they do not expect this openness from us, but they also feel burdenless when we talk freely. Their immediate reaction might be anything, but they develop respect for openness, honesty and intentions. They rather start understanding us better). In other 50% cases, person might tell us not to worry about his reaction. Even he feels bad about the way he reacts and he will thank for giving the feedback. (In all cases, one realization which comes, is that the matter was not so complex, difficult and cumbersome, as I had created in mind by delaying the conversation for so long).

The reaction that we always dread (he will feel insulted, or will get angry or will just walk away) never arise. And even if it happens exceptionally, it is only an immediate reaction and our free talk definitely leaves a mark of openness and intentions. Somewhere he does realize the real situation. The mistake that we make in these situations is to react to his immediate reaction either openly or within ourselves. We only need to be attentive to our actions and to stick to what we think is right. In such cases, it might take some time, but gradually the person starts melting. It is difficult to accept faults and we can make their job easy by behaving in manner in which we think is right (and in not reacting to his behaviour). So if I feel like giving smile to him, I will give it, irrespective of his indifferent or puzzled looks. If I feel like telling him something, I will tell him and look at him expectantly as an ordinary person would expect an answer. If he does not answer, I will feel bad as a normal person would, if I really get that feeling. And it gives such a wonderful feeling, because we will suddenly feel liberated. We are no more dependent on others reactions to decide our actions. We become free from something which had controlled all our reactions, contrary to our will. Now we are in control of our own actions. It feels wonderful and it will transform our life as well as life of people around dramatically.

If someone feels that brother being more intelligent is not giving him proper response, he would better go deeper. See how many good friends of him are intelligent. We do not need intelligent people for relationships. We need loving and caring people. But we trade in love also. I cared and loved so much for him and he did not even notice. What is this? Why do you want a DESIRED and SPECIFIC reaction in response? Why can’t you do what you want to do and end the matter. Let other person do what he thinks he should do. But we always condition our action as per how other person should react to our actions. So if he does not react as we desire, we withdraw totally from him.

And it is not withdrawal. Rather it is a dirty attachment. Every time we remember that person or see him, we are filled with pain. So we develop a relationship, but a painful one. Yes, it is difficult not to expect a desired response. So expect it, no problem. It is painful, if it does not come that way. Yes it is so, accept it. Why to run away from these things. Life is what it is and pain is where we run away from reality, from things as they are. We do not want to even accept that what happened has actually happened. Let’s take a step forward. Yes, it is not easy. But sitting and feeling bad is also not easy. Is it easy to bear the burden of bad relationship? And we have choice of actions. We can stop talking to him. Yes. What will happen then. We will not be able to face each other. We will have this pinch all the time. If I do not want this, what’s the other way. Go and talk to him. Express all feelings truly and openly. There is no chance that he will not understand it.

What is Loss of Humour

(Somebody shared his anxiety over loss of humour and this came out)

Are you talking about situation, where you want to laugh with people, crack jokes, make people laugh, have good and fun time with them. But at the same time, you are somehow not able to do that. Either there is something which stops you from coming out with something humourous, or that even if you want to come out, you can't find the right manner, or other's probable reactions hold you from saying what you want to say?

If that is the case, it may have its roots in you trying to save your image in mind of others. Let me share this example and realisation. A child grows up in an atmosphere, where you have defined criteria of what is good and what is bad. So you learn that drinking, smoking, flirting are signs of bad boys. These boys do all mischief in school and at home. Good boys are sincere and concentrate only on studies. They do not run around, laugh around. They are serious, sincere and polite. All these years, boy gets to learn these things and get rewards for complying with society defined norms.

He sees children playing in streets, getting soiled, shouting and laughing. He also feels like going. But immediately the thought is buried, as being weired. He has seen others failing and himself getting high marks. He has got results and so he does not mind being that way.

As he grows, he knows he is good boy and is always rewarded being that way. So in all his actions, he either tries to enhance that image or to protect this image. And while concentrating on this imaginary self made projection, he loses the real self. In most of the cases that I have observed, loss of humour is because the person wants to cling to his image and does not want to create a different image in society. This fear and hesitation takes aways the inner joy, freshness and originality of person. One can't be genuinely humourous with such burden on head.

To be really humourous, person needs to be completely free of any such burden. Effective humour in most of the cases is not pre-intended. It just comes out. It is the basic nature of humans. Only we have suppressed it under multiple layers.

The only way to gain it back is to break these layers. And it may take time, depending on how many layers you have created. One way in which it can be practically done is to be attentive to the events when you hold yourself from saying or doing something. On such occassions, ask yourself why you are not moving ahead. If answer comes in terms of others will laugh or others might not feel right about it, then go ahead and do that. Break your image of being a good boy, or a serious person or a decent individual. You are what you are. If you feel that doing or saying something (which you feel like saying or doing) will make others think that you are a fool or you are mad or you are not consistent in your actions, better to listen to your voice and do it, rather than holding it up. After all before pleasing any body else you need to please the most important person - Yourself. If you only care about others and not about yourself, your SELF will be lost. So open up and do not leave an opportunity to just be.

Just a Thought

Har Karwaan se aage nikalne ka Junoo Tha hamme,
Zindagi kab peechhe nikal gayi pata naa chalaa.

The Difference

What is the difference between 'the way a normal man works' on one hand, and on the other hand...................

a bird sitting high on a tree signing...... or a flower blossoming with the first ray of light......... or a deer taking long strides towards nowhere.................. or waves coming up and getting lost back into the sea...................... or a new born spreading his smile without any reason.......................... or a tree dancing with winds..................... or two feet moving with the rhythm of music unaware of any dancing rules................................... or a butterfly moving from one flower to another................ or a candle shining brightly knowing that it is continuously losing itself.......... or a monk sitting under a tree with a serene smile...........................

Does the difference lies in intent? Is there are difference of intention or that others (excpet man) do not have intent at all. They do things freely without any intent? But is it intent or a nasty desire to get something or to get away from something, which makes things stressed? Because intent is very pure. If you do something with a clear intent, clear goal, it takes you there very smoothly and happily. But what causes all disturbances in humans? It cannot be a pure intent. It has to be a corrupted intent, if at all it is there. What is it that corrupts it. What is it that is not there in others and so their activities are so pure, despite man being considered superior not only in terms of its physical evolution but also spiritually.

It is the NO to REALITY, NO to THE PRESENT that is the root of all problems. Either we are saying no to a future expected situation and so we are in fear or we are saying no to present situation and so we are uneasy, jealous, depressed and so on. We are trying to fake reality. We just want to change the present moment into something more desirable. Yes, we can change. But we can change future, not the present, not something which is already there.

The cure to all uneasiness is to understand and accept the PRESENT as it is, and taking step with 100% will to make the desired difference.

All serenity in the world is not something acquired by practice or learnt from outside, but it has always been there inside. Only it needs to be unveiled from the covers of our masked reality.

Rethinking Educational System

Today’s education system TRIES to provide tools and skills for survival of a person. However, tools and skills can be utilized properly (and not misutilized) only when person has following elements:
1) He knows and understands himself.
2) He knows what he wants in life – the purpose
3) He clearly knows his priorities and values
4) He can keep himself standing in all turbulent situations – internal and external

These are the foundations on which a person starts living and enjoying life. But our educational system has no focus at all on these areas. We do not have any complementary of alternative system running efficiently, which can compensate for that. Family can assist in this direction to a great extent, but present day parents are also the product of same rotten system and so cannot do much in this direction.

Now talking about skills, our educational system is totally handicapped in providing even the skills and tools. First of all, it does not provide the basic and most important skills, like communication, thought process, creativity, physical fitness, healthy food, arts, imaginative & visual capabilities, self control, etc. Secondly, whatever, skills it teaches, the methodology is completely disoriented. The whole educational system is based on making child learn things by heart. So you have huge books to read. You have homework to write same thing 10 times, and then you have exams to vomit out everything that you learnt during last one year or last one month of exam preparation. The goal of our present educational system is to produce people who can remember things well and then put the same thing on paper. Is this what we need to use in life? Do we need human encyclopedias or the creators? Do we need human books or the action oriented visionaries? We need to decide and then we need to look at what we are giving children. Today’s educational system is garbage and as the principle goes - ‘garbage in garbage out’ – we are going to get non-thinking, theoretical, lousy idiots moving around us (we have already enough of them).

This system is slowly and silently taking the capabilities of human beings to a gradual death. If immediate actions are not taken, results will be disastrous.

Distortion of a Healthy Entertainment

I was sitting idle and browsing channels, when Antakhsari passed through. It was one of my favourite programs and I used to watch it regularly, but because of other indulgences, could not see it for a long time. So, there was no second thought on continuing the same channel for next half an hour.

I came to know that it was second last round of Antakhsari ‘Mahasngram’. It Sounded competition with more difficult levels played at broader geographical levels. With teams coming from different regions, it was understood that the competition was at national level. Rounds were more difficult and innovative and I expected the even better level of entertainment as I used to get a couple of years back

However, what I came across was a horrible version of a concept, which used to be simply entertaining to audience, highly encouraging to participants and had healthy competition touch. Now, it is no more an urge to display the talent and to perform better, rather objective is to beat the other teams. You cannot simply sit and enjoy the songs and the game. Now there are emotional moments, angry situations and depressing comments. Emotional levels are unusually very high.

It felt uneasy to see participants sobbing on making a mistake or on losing points. They expressed anger at other teams getting something which they felt was not justified. Even audience is adding to this whole drama. Over and above, Anchors, rather than encouraging and creating light atmosphere, acted as catalyst or even worse, perpetuator, to the whole emotional enactment.

There is nothing wrong in being upset over your mistake or on you losing the game. It is also right to express your protest against unjustified actions. However, disturbing fact is the unnatural and exaggerated manner, in which the emotions were expressed and screened. What rules the whole show is exaggerated emotions, high tension levels and a compulsion to perform to beat others.

There is no more a feeling of having watched a beautiful competition, where participants showed their talent. Now it has become a matter of life and death. Now it is a matter of your respect, respect of your family, respect of your city, your region. So you cannot afford to lose. You must win, at any cost.

Observe the faces of participants in different situations. They are so tense at all times. There is no calmness or serenity or a sense of self assurance. Anchors have been repeating – it is grand competition, how important it is for them not to lose. And they have not told this to only participants, they have been shouting this to whole world. Now the pressure levels are immense. Voice of anchors is reflecting from people around and getting magnified. You are representing the region, you cannot let us down. You will bring shame on us, if you lose.


Participants’ faces have hardened in a strive not to lose, audience are flowing with the same emotional turbulence and anchors are ensuring never to let it come down. What gets crumpled under the weight of these heavy emotions is the underlying goal of the program - Goal to provide a melodious evening to audience; Goal to provide a platform, an encouragement to the budding talent; Goal to play antakshari in a professional and entertaining manner. With this, the whole concept, whole meaning of the program is lost. What comes out of the program is the depressed eyes of losing teams, and over inflated winners filled not with satisfaction and happiness of winning but with hollow superiority complex.

Where are we going? Why we are distorting the simple things? Misguided commercialization is the answer. Sponsors want more audience and all exercise is to attract and involve audience into the program. Market and marketers believe that audience can get attached to program only if there are emotional ups and downs in the program. There should be emotional display of anger and fear. Audience should be able to feel sympathy or anger or support or protest for particular teams. Only when these levels are maintained, they believe, audience will stick to the program, otherwise they will get bored of it.

It is pity that Marketers have been so short sighted in their thinking and conceptualising. It is true that these things attract audience and make them feel attached to the program. But question is whether it is sustainable. You can read or watch news of rap, accidents, murder, scandal upto a limit. But do you feel good about it or does it leave you with a good feeling. No, rather it generates distaste with time. Then you want to feel good at heart, you need something simple, something natural, something close to heart. These are the things with lasting impact. People might get temporary attraction to exaggerated display of fear, lust and emotions, but it is never long lasting.
Further, even in short term, does these programs give desired results to marketers? Marketers can consult psychologist to understand if the person watching commercials during such programs will develop distaste for the products also. The blind race started by product companies, perpetuated by marketers, followed by television programs and played by talented participants has resulted into nothing but lose-lose situation, in which whoever participates, loses, including the winner.

5 Day Week: From Organisations’ Perspective

What is the difference between a 5 day week and 6 day week?

As it looks on its face, it is a loss of 9 hours per person per week for the company, which translates to 468 hours per person per year. So, for any manufacturing concern, it means that a worker who is producing 54 units under 6 day week, shall produce 45 units in a 5 day week (loss of capacity of 17%).

The above conclusion is based on the premise that the productivity or efficiency of an employee is directly proportionate to the number of hours spent by him in the organization. Experts give further explanation on efficiency, which measures it as a product of ability and willingness of a person towards his work. Ability can be in terms of physical strength and capabilities, aptitude, skills, etc. Willingness is the person’s inner drive to get involved into the assignment and to complete it in qualitative manner. Let us analyse the how number of hours at work is correlated to the person’s efficiency.

Number of hours spent by a person on work affects him in two ways. First, time spent at work gives person a deep satisfaction of learning for himself and contributing to the organization. Every person has a conscious or unconscious urge to act towards a meaningful purpose and work provides him this opportunity. In absence of a meaningful activity, person might feel good initially about not being required to do anything, but shall very soon realize the emptiness and shall get frustrated. Thus, number of hours spent at work is an important source of satisfaction for a person, whether he/she realizes it or not.

Second effect of working hours is on his life beyond office. Besides being involved on a meaningful job in the organisation, person spends his time for himself, family, friends and society and this investment of time is equally important for him as being at work. Though the proportion of time spent on these may vary from person to person, every person needs time for these activities. Time spent for self includes time for relaxation, entertainment, self development, spirituality, etc.

It should be noted here that every person, at any given point of time, is a product of his complete past, specially the closest past. It means that, person cannot leave his emotions at home and work like a machine at office. At the same time, office atmosphere affects the way, he behaves at home. Thus, from organisation’s point of view, the person who enters the office premises is a complete human being, whose efficiency at work is not irrespective of what happens outside office hours or the way he is spending his full day, week and year. It means that the time spent by person on self, with family and friends and in society, affects the productivity of person at work.

This may be partially true for mechanical or clerical jobs, however, it is a significant factor affecting the efficiency at managerial levels. Further, as the responsibility levels go up, these factors become even more important.

Now, interestingly, number of working hours are inversely proportionate to the number of hours, he/she can use for self, family, friends and society. Obviously, an organization, paying for the person’s time, cannot afford to lose that time for the sake of him/her spending time elsewhere and from that point of view even a 7 day week is desirable. At the same time, matured organizations know that only a happy person (at personal and official level), who is content with what he possesses at present, and who has an eye on to the next bigger goal, can be the most effective person at work. These are the organizations, which keep their focus on developing the person in all respects (not on how much time he is sitting at his desk), because they know that this is the only way to get the best output from people.

Now, what does it take to develop a person in all respects and to make him happy and content. First need is to make him happy at work. This can be done by providing those assignments, where his interest lies, by giving more challenges, allowing independence, providing timely and honest feedback, celebrating success, giving recognition and rewards for good work and developing an atmosphere of trust and confidence,. Management needs to believe that people are willing and are able to put their best.

Secondly, person needs to be given sufficient opportunity to relax and rejuvenate. Relaxation enhances person’s efficiency. Continuous engagement at work gradually reduces the efficiency of the person. Organising events, outbound programs and gatherings at organizational level is very effective in this direction. Further, person is just not a worker or an employee. He has his own personal and social aspirations and he should be able to spend time with himself, family, friends and society. These things rejuvenate him and give him fresh energy to take up higher tasks. Moreover, these activities (along with challenging work) give him satisfaction of living a complete meaningful life. Thus, it is important from the point of view of organisation to provide person sufficient time and opportunity for the relaxing and refreshing activities beyond work.

Thus, for an organization to benefit from person’s best output, (among other things) it needs to strike a right balance between number of hours spent by him at work and beyond work. One extreme is to make him work whole day all 7 days. Another extreme is to allow him to work as and when he wishes. Different levels have been discovered and experimented at different times.

A decade and a half back, when responsibilities on individuals were not high, pressure levels were moderate or low and working hours were limited, 6 day weeks were manageable. However, at present times, when there is no limit on working hours, pressure levels are mounting and every person handles critical responsibilities, it is imperative that the person needs to be given time, opportunity and avenue to rejuvenate himself to gear up for these activities. This is the reason, why most of the organistions have adopted 5 day week in their work culture.

It can be noted here that 5 day week does not reduce the output level of person. On the contrary, his productivity and effectiveness gets better. The same has been experimented in organizations world over. It has been observed that in most of the cases, people spend disproportionate amount of time on work. The six day work does not necessarily take six days and can be effectively framed within five days. The principal ‘work occupies the time available’ applies in most of the organisations and functions. It makes them habitual (rather addictive) of long working hours and their efficiency level goes down.

Interestingly, in many cases, people sitting on desks is an illusion of productivity. Surprisingly, the illusion is not only for bosses but even for the person himself. He starts believing that he is putting extra efforts and is the busiest person around. At the same time, he wonders why people putting lesser efforts (because they leave office on time and do not work on weekends) are being rewarded and are happier.

Person doing job with limited working hours and days, does a more focused and quality job than other people. Here, it should be noted that if need is critical, people anyways come on weekends and even stay late to complete the work. It is rather sometimes fun to come on weekend for few hours, in an informal atmosphere and to do things without usual tense work atmosphere. However, if people are given choice and freedom, they can utilize time in more productive manner.

It is critical that management take account of the responsibilities and work load, put systems in place for systematic processes and place adequate manpower to meet the requirements. Most importantly, management needs to understand and believe that the work does not necessarily need 6 days and can be completed in 5 days. It is only perception of management, a fear of losing something, which stops management from moving to 5 day week regime. In the present work conditions, 5 day week is the right balance for the development of person as well as for the benefit of organization.

The Radio

The quality of sound from a radio depends on (among other things), how properly tuned it is. It is not a big technical exercise, rather a very simple but delicate act. A minute movement is enough to set the reception at right level. And it is experimentation. Sometimes here sometimes there and then we know where the best tuning comes.

It seems that situation of this world today is like a untuned radio. There is no melody, no balance, but the harshness and haphazard actvities without any synchronisation. As the untuned radio keeps giving unwanted sound, this world is producing unwanted situations. There is chaos in place of harmony, there is confusion in place of clarity, there is misery and sadness in place of rythm and joy. Man, as he sits beside radio and cribs about its sound, keeps cribbing about the state of affairs - at home or in the world.

Why does this type of situation arises? Let's start from the beginning. In the beginning, people knew why they used radio. They used it for music, for entertainment and to get relaxed. The radios (or the world for that matter) were finetuned. Melody, harmony and music was the part of life. The great thinkers, philosophers and well wishers draw the guidelines on where and how to finetune life and world as a whole. They prescibed the ways and means so that tuning is maintained at that level.

Then, years passed by. Generations kept on using radio. They had seen their forefathers using it and so knew it is supposed to be used, it is supposed to be played. But with time, they forgot the purpose behind its use. The radio kept on playing without generating the feelings it used to generate in previous generations. It became more a showpiece and a tradition. Everyday on some particular times, it has to be played. It became more of a routine for the sake of it, rather than a means to serve a bigger purpose. (If want to think in context of world, just replace word 'traditions' for 'radio'.)

Then some more changes happened. Technology changed and model of radio changed. New frequencies were introduced, older ones became redundant. Now the man should have tuned it to the better and new frequencies. But, he does not want to think at his own. He wants to live under the comfort of guidelines given by the forefathers. So he does the tuning with same old guidelines. He does not apply his mind to understand the principle and logic behind those guidelines. He does not discover new guidelines which might be useful for present and future generations. His closemindedness does not allow him to challenge old rules. He keeps tuning at the same levels and with same means. On the new radio, many times he is not able to find the old buttons as were given in guidelines. He cannot understand the new buttons which have come up in new radios. He avoids to know about any new frequencies being introduced. Man does not want to know that the rules prescribed by forefathers were applicable in that time and situation and needs to be redefined for the present requirements. How can those great forefathers be wrong? What this new generation knows? He never gets any answer, nor the satisfaction. (If want to think in context of world, just replace word 'moral teachings' for 'rules and guidelines' and replace word 'life' for 'radio'.)

People keep following the rules and guidelines given in scriptures and moral teachings, which were perfectly applicable in olden times. The essence of those principles is not understood and teachings are followed only by words not by their deeper intentions. Their psychological slavery to old traditions does not allows them to challenge old rules. At the same time, their inner sense of logic and rationality keep knocking their mind questioning their actions. Now, it creates a conflict and person becomes even more confused. He keeps suppressing his inner voice, which keeps warning and questioning him. He knows that there is something wrong, but cannot figure it out.

Then, the suppressed inner voice is no more stoppable. But, it has now changed its course. being suppressed, it has got distorted on its way and comes out in ugly ways also. Somewhere the traditions were ruling the person. Now, the suppressed emotions go to other extremes. There is rebellion. So, if they are taught to be religious, they will become atheist. If they are taught not to accumulate wealth, they will worship money. If they are asked to observe austerity, they will become womaniser. If they are asked to repsect elders, they will put them into old age homes. If they are asked to spread love, their arrogance will sweep the world.

And thus, the tuning, which was on one extreme (that was also not right), goes on to the other extreme. This also generates nothing but dissatisfaction, because man is still not on the right tuning.

So what is this right tuning. Right tuning is something, which puts this world on track, in harmony with the nature, which makes everybody happy and this world a peaceful and prosperous place to live.

How to know, what is the right tuning level. To know the right tuning level, first there is need to undertand the purpose behind it. Why at all we use radio (why do we live life). One needs to be very clear about the goal. This goal becomes his compass whenever, he needs direction. Once the goal is determined, now he needs to know the right way to move towards it. First of all he himslef needs to chalk out his course of journey. Then, he can take help and assistance from the old teachings. These teachings are based on extensive experiments and learnings for a long period. They act as a good consultant. But only as consultant. The decision has to be yours only. so there are only two steps - find out your purpose and take the right course of action (right course means something which matches your values, something which when followed, gives you inner peace and happiness)

Are You Feeling Uneasy

We all feel uneasy in different life situations and many times during the day. Most of the times, we are not even able to identify that there is feeling of uneasiness, as most of our efforts and attention goes into avoiding it, not to feel it. And that is obvious, nobody likes to be uneasy.

But what is this uneasiness? Why does it occur? What makes us feel uncomfortable? Let's go back to that feeling. Let's feel it as it is. Let us see what happens at that time. If we observe deeply, uneasiness is nothing but an internal discussion, a fast dialogue going on inside our mind. There are two arguments going on. One wants to take you towards one direction and second wants you to be in another.

Actually this dialogue, this discussion goes on so fast that we cannot even see or know what are the thoughts rushing through the mind. Pull and push continues, but as you are not involved consiously in it, the dialogue goes on only at surface level. You would have experiened sometimes that in uneasiness feeling, a single thought or a couple of thoughts keep occuring and repeating in mind. So both sides keep pulling you in their direction, without giving you a chance to understand the matter. Most of the times, you even do not know the subject matter or the cause of uneasiness. Sometimes you know it, but the rattling does not allow you concentrate anywhere. Rather, it makes you feel like running from it and when u are running away, how can you understand it.

Now, as the discussion goes on only at surface level, without going deeper into the matter, it remains at the same level and does not get solved. And your irritation and uneasiness level rises. The serious levels of depression are result of this phenomena, when the uneasiness feeling is not resolved at the earlier stage itself.

So, how to get out of uneasiness. It is very simple and rather full of fun. Whenever, you feel uneasy, say STOP very loudly in your mind, give a jerk to your body and open your eyes wide. Now you are fully awake.

Now, with full compassion and love ask (as if u are asking two fighting children), what is
the trouble? The answer may not come immediately. There might be silence for sometime. Just see it. You might get some words or sentences, which might not make sense. You might also get a comlete arguement coupled with a contrary point of view on a matter.

Listen to each of your thought. There will be contradictions, there will be traditions fighting logic, there will be culture fighting freedom and many more. Listen to them patiently, not to get rid of them, but to have fun out of it. Do not rush anywhere. be with them. Just listen, do not try to provide any solution or comment. Just be present. Just obeserve it curiously as a third party who is present there just for the sake of it. You will find that your mind has become lighter and the conclusion is in front of you.

Most of the times, you will be surprised to note how useless and irrelevant rattling was going on in your mind. Many times, it will give you a feeling of Eureka. Many times you will feel that you have got closer to yourself. And every time, you will feel more relaxed and lighter.

So next time, if you feel uneasy, get ready to have fun.

To be Frank

"To be frank I want to tell you that you were at mistake".

"I accept that. But what do you mean by 'to be frank'?"

"See I am telling you that you are at mistake. I should tell you that I am being frank and open to you."

"But why do you need to specify that? when you say a truth, it implies you are frank"

"Yes, but it is always better to tell, otherwise you might feel bad and might doubt my intentions"

"Let me understand it. You mean to say that if you tell me a plain simple unpleasant truth, I might feel bad because it might hurt me. Now, to dilute that bad feeling, you want to clarify that you are being frank and your intentions are good. But what I feel is that if you are telling me something in good faith with good intentions,which is not so pleasant to hear, I will know that you are being frank and honest. You need not say that. And, if something is not said with good faith and intention, then the sentence has lost its value and so your telling that you are frank, does not help. So first thing - your telling that you are being frank, does not add any value. Now second point. What is meant by being frank? When you are frank, it means that you express your views honestly without any hesitation and IRRESPECTIVE OF THE TYPE OF REACTION YOU WILL GET FOR IT. Now, you say 'to be frank', so that the other person does not feel bad. It is not that you are concerned about feelings of other person. Rather, you do not want him to get any negative impression about yourself and your intentions. This is your preparation to secure not-so-unpleasant reaction from the other person. So do you think that you have been frank enough with the person? If you had been, you would not have been bothered about negative reaction, you would not have thought about how to make my sentence sound better, you would not have added an explanation of being frank. SO WHEN YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE BEING FRANK, YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT."

Where are we going

They say world still has lot of developing countries. They also boast about countries which are developed. They feel sad about remaining countries which are underdeveloped ones. How do you cross the border to become developed? They have a quick answer. High GDP growth, high per capita income.

What is GDP growth? GDP is the sum of value of all products and services added or provided by a country during the year. If in a year, production is more than the previous year, you have a GDP growth. You need to keep raising this growth. So, every year you need to produce more than the previous year to achieve the higher GDP growth and to bring yourself into the league of developed nations if not in developing nations.

Does it mean that a country with steady population, with reasonable production to satisfy needs of its people needs to increase its production year by year, even if it is satisfied with the present status. Or does it mean that a country like China or India, where the population is growing like anything, there is any ways requirement to produce more and more, and so development is not a choice but compulsion. Or does it mean that a country should produce more irrespective of the purpose for which production is required.

We need an answer - whether production is our goal or we are producing for some objective. Producing for the sake of it is only a blind rush to reach nowhere. It is like chasing something undefined and unidentified. If we are producing for an objective, then what is it?

Let us go into the history of production. Why at all we started production? Lets go back to the initial phases of human civilisation. He was alone and was doing all his work himself. That time he was eating, dressing and surviving. Then he started to feel that things can be done in a better way. So he invented tools and the better ways to live life. He let his creativity come out to the fullest. He did things for his own satisfaction. Production was not a goal but only a channel for his creativity to come out.

Then he outsourced things. So potter become specialised and so the farmer and the cook. They could have more time for their own areas of interest. They need not do things which they were not interested in and which other could do better. So the whole exercise started with an objective to create a channel for creativity and to make every body's life easy. It was intended to help everybody to attain their own goals in better way.

And now, after a long journey of civilization, where do we find ourselves? Are we far ahead in the direction, where our ancestors started. Or have we got drowned in the activity, as we lost track of our ultimate aim? How many of us are following our dreams? How many of us don't think of coming out of this rat race one day? How many are content with life? Irony is that today also man is striving to fulfil his basic needs. It is so unfortunate that after thousands of years after the kick start of development, we are still struggling. And it is not just the struggle for food and shelter. It is struggle to find an outlet for the creative pursuit within us. It is struggle to recognise the voice that keep calling us for the higher goal. It is the struggle of moving nowhere with a superficial goal.

Today's man is struggling much more to earn his living than a nomadic of past. He carries very high tension all times. He is unhappy as he is not able to get what he wants (He does not know what he really wants). There are frustration levels. Reason is very simple. If you run for something of which you cannot see an end, you will just be running blindly, without knowing your destination. You will not know which path to follow, when to stop, when to relax, when to hurry up (not rush). You will be always be rushing as you would always be afraid that you wont have much time left to reach there, so better to be fast.

Today we are all just following this blind cycle, without knowing in which direction, if at all, it is taking us. We all go to work, eat, have some fun, sleep. That is how we are spending each day of our life. Then we take big mundane steps also. We study, get jobs, get married, have children, get them married and start the same cycle again.

But for what? Is there any purpose of all this drama. Or it is just a routine set up for us to follow. We in our childhood had so many dreams. We built so many castles. And as we grew this society put end to them one by one. It said you cannot be happy without sacrifice. It said you have to strive hard to succeed in this world. It said there is tough competition everywhere.

Is it all true, and above all, is it worth a concern. Actually speaking all these useless thoughts come to men only when his purpose is not clear. Every human being has a basic nature of rising up, to act in best manner, reach a goal which his heart calls for. His inner urge keeps getting suppressed with the traditions, pity thinking and demotivating messages. He is not able to follow his inner urge and then this urge tries to find ways to come out. This is demonstrated in different ways. It can be constructive as well as destructive. But the urge comes out.

Give man a definite goal and he will achieve it even if it is highly difficult. Ask him to go 'somewhere' without clear cut objective and he will exhaust and frustrate himself without achieving anything. He will be moving round and round. He will do something and come back. He will try to satisfy his urge by doing all things he can find around, but will always be thirsty. Then he will find interest in getting more money, more fame. He will be attracted to sex. He will drink, smoke and will explore all possible ways.

Only thing that he will not do is to stop for a while, sit and go within, where the real answer lies. A simple question to self can solve all his quests. If he follows what his heart says, then he will not have to struggle for a moment. At the same time he will achieve all other things as bonus. But the biggest thing he will achieve will be the inner contentment, a feel of rising higher, an inner peace, a sense of achievement, a sense of being elated, a joy of being free from all barriers, joy of freedom, as well as being disciplined; strength of inner control as well as lightness.

All this is possible only when we discover our true purpose and take actions towards that direction.

Now lets just put the same phenomena to the concept of development. Is our definition or direction of development well defined or we are just rushing somewhere. Is it the real objective that we want to achieve?

Isn't it that we would be happier producing a bit less but we live a peaceful life? Is it not better to work for making people happy rather than making them crave for more facilities? Is it not better to define our own vision and mission first than we do it for a company? Is it not better to keep people's happiness as the first goal rather than maximising (any goals, limits???) wealth?Lets ask these questions to ourselves.

Lets define our own goals clearly. Individual goals will then merge into society goals, into national goals and into the universal goals. Then whatever we shall do, it will be in synergy, in a unified direction. It will have a purpose. It will have a destination. It will not be a blind race or rush. It will be smooth, confident and joyful ride to a better world. Then each step of human race will be towards real growth. There will be growth in happiness, in peace, in harmony, in creativity, in arts, needless to say in wealth, resources and quality of life.

That is the way to live life, that is the way to develop. LET US GROW, LET US RISE, LET US DEVELOP.

Good Habit - Bad Habit

They say, you should inculcate good habits in your routine and avoid bad habits. The objective intended behind this teaching may be that person should take right actions in life. But can you define right and wrong universally and for all times? is it not situation and time specific? Does it not mean that the decision needs to be taken considering the situation at the moment and not based on norms laid down by previous experiences. Yes, previous experiences helps. They act as guide in situations where we can't find a way. But they can't be decisive. The decision has to be taken by the person. And while taking decision, he can take assistance of past experiences, without affecting his decision making power; without being prejudiced by the fact that in past the experience had been in one direction.

Does it not mean that the person needs to be AWAKE and ALERT for the situation to take a decision. Now lets consider, what is habit (good or bad irrespective). Habit is a situation or phenomena, where person starts responding in same or similar way for similar situations for a number of instances and then the response become almost automated. Thus person's response is triggered by just even the hint of the situation.

Now, if we consider the state of mind with specific reference to the habit, existence of habit means that the person is not awake. Automated responses come only when person's system (mind body) is working without being noticed by HIM. Thus person is responding based on his previous experiences and not awake in the present moment.

Any habit is like blood pressure. High BP or bad habit is more dangerous than low BP or good habit. But basically, habits are dangerous. And habits have further adverse effect as one habit makes you to take unconscious action and the same thing starts repeating in other situations also. It is like virus.

Our effort should be not to inculcate any habit and to remove existing habits if there are any. now what does it mean. It is not a weed, which can be removed just like that. What is required is to understand the whole programming. It is important to know the thought process that goes in between the stimulus and the response. If we are able to see that whole process, we shall not jump on response just by the trigger, rather, we shall be able to redirect our thoughts as per the situation at the moments.

Now, how can we start. We can start with small things. We all are a bunch of habits. Just see, what we do from morning till we sleep. How many things, we remember doing consciously. Do we know how did we brush teeth, or shaved or took bath.

All out actions are habituated. Same actions are being repeated number of times. Same patterns are created. Mind becomes comfortable with the pattern and so we become more and more unconscious about our actions.

These patterns need to broken. So let's take new actions. Let's do new things, more challenging things. Let's do things in more conscious way. How can we do things in more conscious way - by doing the same thing in different manner. For example, use left hand for brushing teeth, if you have been using right. Use stairs for some of the floors at least, if you have been using lift.

Whenever, you feel that life is going in routine, change something. It can be anything and may be as small as ironing your clothes, even when it can be got done outside.

It is very important to break habit patterns. If habits start governing life (as it does in most people's life and for great part of life for most of us), it should be taken as a warning for internal cancer. It is killing us. What is the difference between a dead and alive body. Dead body cannot do anything at its own, while alive body can. Now, if we are being governed by others (and our programming system of habits comes under 'others'), we are dead. We have life only when we do what we want to do. So let's break all habits and explore new world. Lets bring LIFE and in our lives.