"To be frank I want to tell you that you were at mistake".
"I accept that. But what do you mean by 'to be frank'?"
"See I am telling you that you are at mistake. I should tell you that I am being frank and open to you."
"But why do you need to specify that? when you say a truth, it implies you are frank"
"Yes, but it is always better to tell, otherwise you might feel bad and might doubt my intentions"
"Let me understand it. You mean to say that if you tell me a plain simple unpleasant truth, I might feel bad because it might hurt me. Now, to dilute that bad feeling, you want to clarify that you are being frank and your intentions are good. But what I feel is that if you are telling me something in good faith with good intentions,which is not so pleasant to hear, I will know that you are being frank and honest. You need not say that. And, if something is not said with good faith and intention, then the sentence has lost its value and so your telling that you are frank, does not help. So first thing - your telling that you are being frank, does not add any value. Now second point. What is meant by being frank? When you are frank, it means that you express your views honestly without any hesitation and IRRESPECTIVE OF THE TYPE OF REACTION YOU WILL GET FOR IT. Now, you say 'to be frank', so that the other person does not feel bad. It is not that you are concerned about feelings of other person. Rather, you do not want him to get any negative impression about yourself and your intentions. This is your preparation to secure not-so-unpleasant reaction from the other person. So do you think that you have been frank enough with the person? If you had been, you would not have been bothered about negative reaction, you would not have thought about how to make my sentence sound better, you would not have added an explanation of being frank. SO WHEN YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE BEING FRANK, YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT."
"I accept that. But what do you mean by 'to be frank'?"
"See I am telling you that you are at mistake. I should tell you that I am being frank and open to you."
"But why do you need to specify that? when you say a truth, it implies you are frank"
"Yes, but it is always better to tell, otherwise you might feel bad and might doubt my intentions"
"Let me understand it. You mean to say that if you tell me a plain simple unpleasant truth, I might feel bad because it might hurt me. Now, to dilute that bad feeling, you want to clarify that you are being frank and your intentions are good. But what I feel is that if you are telling me something in good faith with good intentions,which is not so pleasant to hear, I will know that you are being frank and honest. You need not say that. And, if something is not said with good faith and intention, then the sentence has lost its value and so your telling that you are frank, does not help. So first thing - your telling that you are being frank, does not add any value. Now second point. What is meant by being frank? When you are frank, it means that you express your views honestly without any hesitation and IRRESPECTIVE OF THE TYPE OF REACTION YOU WILL GET FOR IT. Now, you say 'to be frank', so that the other person does not feel bad. It is not that you are concerned about feelings of other person. Rather, you do not want him to get any negative impression about yourself and your intentions. This is your preparation to secure not-so-unpleasant reaction from the other person. So do you think that you have been frank enough with the person? If you had been, you would not have been bothered about negative reaction, you would not have thought about how to make my sentence sound better, you would not have added an explanation of being frank. SO WHEN YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE BEING FRANK, YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT."
No comments:
Post a Comment