Ideal or Goon

We all come across some people who become our ideal. These are the people, we idolize, love and respect. We think about them and feel inspired and appreciative. We learn and imbibe their qualities. We find ways to meet them and experience their motivating presence.

We all come across people, who become menace to our lives (like a local goon). These are the people we are generally afraid of. We make sure that they do not get upset with us. We may even have to speak niceties in front of them, to avoid their anger. We also offer them some present, to keep them in neutral mode. Some people offer them ‘price’ to get few things done.

Let’s recollect our behavior with God and reflect, what do we treat Him as?

Faith Vs. Reason

"There are few things which you have to believe, without asking for reasons." There was clear hint of annoyance in his voice. Mr. Tripathi is our neighbour and this was the first time, we had spoken beyond formal greetings. He is a firm believer in the divine power and I made a mistake of asking some clarifications.

Actually, he started it. "You will always have limited success and happiness unless you believe in HIM" he had said.  

I could not understand. "Believe in WHOM?"

"The Divine. You can call him God, Energy, Nature or whatever."

"What should I believe?

Now he got perplexed. "What are you asking?

"I am asking what should I believe. I guess you are asking me to believe three things - One, there is some divine power over and above us. Second, it has power to help us in life. Third, if I believe in it and pray, it will grant me the wishes or protect me from evil things. Are you saying that?"

"aaaammm......yes. So what? What's the problem? Is it not good for you? Why can't you believe? Have faith and your life will be much better."

"But how can I just start having believe or faith? It is not a piece of bread, which I can lift, put into mouth and swallow. I need some basis to believe in something."

"Now, this is the problem with your generation. You want reason for everything. But remember, there are so many things, which science has not been able to explain. Tell me, why they have not been able to make life in laboratories?"

"If science has not understood few - or may be lot of - things, is it right to assign all those things to some divine power? Few centuries ago, lightening was considered to be the anger of divine. Will you believe in such thing now?

"You people just know to argue, but you will not understand what I am saying. Ok, tell me why you do not believe in God?"

"I did not say, I do not believe in God."

"You are such an impossible person. Just now you had been arguing like mad, and now you are saying, you believe in God"

"Ok, let me clarify. I am not saying I believe in God. I am also not saying I do not believe in God. I am just saying 'I do not know'. I do not have proofs either way. I do not need proofs either way. So I can't say anything definitely"

"Then you will live your life in limbo? You will not have any firm stand? You will keep moving like pendulum from one side to other? What are you saying? You must have the clarity."

"I am not in limbo. I am just open. And it does not make any difference to me, if there is divine power or not. I will be same in any case. So why should I bother?" "And even if I want to know, I will not take a stand just because I have to. Will you take a stand saying that there are only 9 planets? What if scientists discover more? What will happen to your belief?"

"Forget all this. I do not know all your logical tricks. What I know is belief is much beyond and much powerful than your reasons. Only when you drop your reasons, then the belief will rise"

"If reason is dropped, then what will be the difference between 'Belief' and 'Blind Faith'?"

"That's different" Blind faith is not same as belief."

"Ok, so what is the difference between Belief and Blind Faith?"

"I will tell you some other time. You have confused me completely with you rubbish"

"The difference is 'Reason'. Wherever there is no reason, it is blind faith."

"Ok. So tell me why you need to believe, if you have all reasons? Do you understand me? If something is proved, it is proved - and you do not need any belief. So, as per you, there is no place for belief. Am I correct?"

"Let me explain this. Let us assume that I am planning to start my own business. I know that this is the best thing to do, because my passion and strength lies in it. But, then I am told - economy is bad, you need experience, you need lot of money, you will not get partner, you will probably fail, how will you repay the loan, think about your family - and so on."

"In this situation, I need to keep alive the spark of belief in my decision. Not just because, I believe in it blindly. But because I have a bigger reason to go for it, which others are not able to see." 

"The problem with such reasons is that they are sometimes difficult to explain and express. So, externally people think that person has acted on a belief without reason. Oprah Winfrey was fired from TV channel, saying that she is not fit for TV. She kept the belief in her abilities and became legendary TV show host. The reasoning she has about herself was not blind, it was just difficult to explain. She was required to take extra efforts to believe in it, because if not nurtured constantly, beliefs of others may overpower it."

"This also applies to somebody who has genuinely experienced (may be briefly) divinity around. He / she may find it difficult to explain it, but the experience is good enough reason to believe in it. However, if somebody says he / she believes in God, without any experience, it is nothing but blind faith. It does not matter whether it is truth or not, but the belief without reason is always blind faith. Belief may be beyond generally accepted logic, but it cannot be beyond reason."

Chhapaak

“Can I finish billing” She asked. No, it did not sound like asking. It was a sweet voice but with a tinge of irritation. The girl looked beautiful and was wearing a nice yellow dress. She was on the billing counter and was waiting for change to come from the boy in mall’s uniform. The boy was counting the Sodexo meal passes and cash she had given, when it happened. The man behind her looked a bit impatient.

Actually, I was standing in the queue after the girl in yellow dress, with my trolley of grocery. The man showed me his single item and gestured if he can finish first. I was in no hurry and I smiled him towards the front. He took out a bundle of ten rupee notes and waited for his turn. He seemed to be in a state of perpetual impatience. The tray on the side, where stuff to be billed is placed, was empty, as girl’s grocery was already billed and put into plastic bags. The man put his large dettol bottle on the tray. There was no movement, but I felt something moved inside the girl. Ten seconds later the man started tapping his bundle of note on the tray. It was then, the girl spoke. She turned back for just three seconds, looked at the person and said it in a way, which is difficult to categorise. It was not harsh or impolite but definitely expressed her loathing for something. After saying this, she turned back to face the boy from mall, but I could sense the turbulence within her.

On his part, the man did not seem to understand much. I think, he was wondering why this girl from some high society is asking him about her tasks. Or he was too afraid to even think about what she was asking and why at all. He just stopped doing whatever he was doing and stood numb. He did not look hurt or embarrassed, but he had a look of a child who did not understand why father scolded him. Only thing he understood was that he did something wrong and the other had complete right to scold him.

The girl had her back towards us and so we could not see her face and reactions. But her face and body suddenly became more rigid. She had her eyes fixed on her remaining sodexo passes, as if, if she looked elsewhere she will be caught. Caught for what? She did not utter a word after that. The boy handed over the change to her and she collected her bags full of two weeks ration. By the time, she opened the door of her car, the man had finished his billing and was moving towards exit door. Within a minute, both were out of sight.

Respect for Language

Sentiment is a big word. No law, no order, no constitution can be override a sentiment attached to some belief or region, or language. Recent controversy in Maharashtra on Jaya Bachchan’s statement is a stark example. 

Jaya Bachchan was reported to have said - “I am from Uttar Pradesh and so will speak Hindi”. As per Raj Thackeray, this amounts to disrespect for Marathi. His supporters torn off the posters of Bachchans’ movies and Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) decided to boycott their movies. 

Hue and cry raised on Jaya Bachchan’s statement was completely beyond any logical understanding. At the first place, if one does not know the local language, he himself will face problems. He/she will face difficulties in day to day communication (maid, shops, conveyance, etc). Knowing the local language is always a plus, as one can correlate with people in a better way. But ultimately advantage or disadvantage of speaking or not speaking a language is for the person. It cannot be other way round. Language cannot be at disadvantage by somebody not speaking it. 

Marathi (or any other language) as a language is great in itself, and does not need any endorsement for whether it is respectable or not. If somebody does not speak Marathi, the language is far too great to be affected by it. If Marathi could speak, it would have said to Jaya Bachchan – “Ok, don’t speak me, it doesn’t matter. But if you speak, it would be nice and I will give you my affection.” 

Then, what is the reason for a fraction of people feeling insulted. Let us consider the ways, in which somebody can insult a language. A person may criticize the language based on its words or grammar or vocabulary, or usage of words or sentence formation. A creative criticism should be welcomed to enrich the language. 

Somebody may make a superfluous mockery about the language or its contents. There are two ways to face this mockery. If it is intended for fun, it can be enjoyed by all in good spirits. If it is intended to insult the language, the statement can be countered by giving factual information and inviting a debate on the matter. Vandalism, destruction, boycott only prove that one has lost ability to think rationally. Nobody can be stopped from saying or doing anything, neither can be compelled to say or do anything, except if it can result into real and grave threat. 

In Jaya Bachchan’s case, where is the threat? By whom, and to whom? Is this threat real or just an illusion in mind? She did not say a single word about Marathi, far from anything against it. She did not say anything, which would lower the respect of other people for Marathi. She did not mock at the language. Then what is the problem? 

The problem is Raj Thackeray and company themselves do not have any respect for the language. They are dependent on others for respect of Marathi. If a person from Delhi and UP speaks Marathi, they will feel proud, if they don’t, they will be disappointed. They do not have any respect for the language and want to derive it out of others. And they are not much different. We all do the same thing at national level. Whenever foreigners talks about yoga or speaks a couple of Hindi words, we jump with so called proud. Are we waiting for others to approve our languages or we ourselves will do something about it?

Language is not respected by forcing others to use it. A language is respected when rich work is performed in it, classic literature is created, heart winning movies are made, great theatrical performances are shown, its vocabulary is enriched or when its public usage is facilitated (not compelled). When Devaki Nandan Khatri wrote ‘Chandrakanta’, people learnt Hindi specially to read it. Why doesn’t Shiv Sena or MNS take up something like this? Why don’t they encourage great works to be done in Marathi? No, they will not do that for two reasons. First, threatening people, vandalizing shops and tearing posters is much easier than doing something creative like that. Second, they will not get so much political publicity in doing creative stuff, as they get in raising these unproductive controversies. 

And if anybody thinks that by compelling people to use or speak a language, he is respecting it, he would better think again. You compel a child to go to temple and he will make sure that he never ever passes through the temple. You compel him to give respect to you, and he will never listen to you. Human beings are free spirits by nature and more you force them, more they will resist. If you want respect for language, develop the language in a way that people start using it automatically. Shiv Sena and MNS may compel people to utter a few Marathi words or to put signboards in Marathi, but they will not create a place for Marathi language in people’s heart. This compulsion can never result into deep respect for language, rather it will get a bad name because of these people. 

And while this self appointed cultural police claims to protect the respect for Marathi language, they crumble the respect of India as a united nation, by bringing division based on language and region. They insult constitution, which allows each citizen freedom to express freely, irrespective of language. They insult the integrity of nation by restricting free movement across states. And they insult their own region and language by indulging in such activities and spreading a bad name for the entire state and community. 

And, finally if they aim at gaining some political ground by using these cheap tactics, they better get their notions corrected. Just look around for comments on these activities and they will find that most of the Marathi speaking population is against their unreasonable actions.

DHARMA

“Do something for your Atma. All these things will stay here, only your Karma will go with you. Do something for Dharma” I was coming out of a temple and one of the elderly ladies (quite known in the religious circle) was telling this. I have heard the same stuff number of times and more it is said, more superficial and meaningless it sounds.

It is Paryushan now and everywhere there are talks about Dharma. Suddenly everybody has become Dharmic. I hear people talking about Tapasya and their way of talking reflects that it is something really great. People are fasting (ranging from half day to a month) and everybody is supposed to believe that they are doing something great. After all, they are ‘not eating’. It is so difficult to be hungry, because you may die out of hunger. And, your senses are not so strong enough to let you remain hungry. It is a victory over senses.

Then they talk about remembering by heart all the processes and verses. I have realized that measurement of how much spiritual a child is, lies in his ability to mug up the Chinese-Japanese sounding words without understanding them and his parents’ ability to persuade him to do that.

There are people taking long trips to Teerth. Many of them are ‘known’ to have taken those trips every year (or even every month). And there are people who do everyday Pooja or go to temple everyday. Then there is elite class, which can boast of donating. Their names can be seen on every nook and corner of the temples and dharmashalas.. These look like the mini version of corporate hoardings on the cricket ground or in a musical concert.

And I only end up feeling surprised and confused and sometimes averse. Initially when people spoke to me about these so called ‘Dharmic’ activities, it was ‘so what’ at first and now it is ‘bullshit’. I might sound too harsh on this, but the way things are, you can’t help feeling frustrated. It may be bad not to follow Dharma. But it is foolish and disastrous to follow something for the sake of and in the illusion of Dharma. And this may be fine if we do it only to show others. The real danger is when we also start believing that this is spirituality. We deceive ourselves, lie to ourselves and then we say we are Dharmic. What a paradox!!

Another day, we friends were discussing and agreed that recent times has seen rise in religious activities. It was quite surprising, because you do not find any symptom of spirituality around. The pace at which mistrust, hatred, impatience and violence at all levels are increasing and taking newer shapes every day, people cannot be said to have become more spiritual. But everywhere you find people performing activities related to ‘God and Dharma’. Now the question arises - why these activities are not leading to Dharma or spirituality; why these do not generate good (if not great) human beings? Is performing these rituals giving people, what they really want? Is there any flaw in people’s thinking and beliefs? What is the parameter to see if things are going in the right direction?

Let us start from the beginning. Why at all there should be any drama of religion and god like this? What difference does it make if there is no religious activity? What if people never knew that there is any god or dharma. How the world would have been different?

I believe that it would have made a huge difference. Human beings (I am not sure about other living beings) can live and act at their ‘ego’ level or at ‘self’ level. Generally they keep swinging between the two and mostly inclined towards the first. In extreme situations they act totally at ego level. It is Dharma only, which is keeping the ‘self’ alive. Dharma, left in whatever form, is the only reason for things not going totally chaotic. Once this remaining Dharma is lost, the world will collapse. As we move away from ‘self’, all complications like ego, hatred and violence arise. If one is based in self, peace and harmony will automatically start showering.

Now what is the relation between living at ‘self’ level and Dharma. Dharma is defined as the basic nature of any person or object. To know and to reach the basic nature, that is, to reach the self is Dharma. Everybody can have a unique way to reach there and we all should strive to find that way. We are all different, so paths are also different.

It may happen that somebody else’s path appeals to us. We find that the other has gained something when he walked on a particular path and it feels like we can also gain something. So we decide to give it a try and when we gain from it, we feel overjoyed. We feel so thankful to the person that he seems like everything to us. We want to thank him, honour him, worship him. We give him flowers, we touch his feet and just try to thank him for what he did to us unintentionally.

It is surprising that today people are doing all this without feeling thankful and overjoyed. And how can they be thankful or overjoyed if they have not gained anything. And if they have not got anything, why are they doing all this drama? Have we not skipped a very important step before doing all the religious activities – to follow a path somebody walked? Only then worshipping has some meaning.

Even if we feel that something will come to us later and so we feel thankful today, are we sure that the path used by Mahaveer or by Jesus or by Buddha is the one for us? Just because we are born into a particular family or society or country, can we take it for granted, without using our own understanding? Ok, let us assume that you are a Jain and Mahaveer’s path is best for you. Then what are you doing here in temple praising him? He will be best honoured if you follow the path he showed. All the great souls will even be more honoured if you search for your own path. This is what they did.

Mahaveer created his own path. He wanted to go in search of truth, but his mother said no. He stayed back. That was his path of non-violence, by not hurting others even by saying no. When everybody agreed, he left home and moved to forests. At one point, he did not feel the need of clothes, so he did not bother to have any. He roamed in jungles and did not feel like eating much, so he did not eat.

He used hunger as a means and saw the effect of hunger on his body. How it reacts? How it craves for food? He remained neutral looking at the bodily activities impartially, while the old karmas kept rising in the form of emotions, pain, irritation, uneasiness and so on. He kept watching. He gradually started realizing the whole pattern. He could see the clouds disappearing gradually and light coming. As the karmas kept dissolving, he progressed to reach to the real self.

He found that when he is hungry, the karma comes out easily and more visibly and thus can be dissolved more effectively. He realized that as he dissolved karma, he became more clear about the truth. He knew himself better and could understand the life around more clearly. He was not burdened with unnecessary thoughts and preconceived notions. He was free from thoughts. He was in the moment. He could really enjoy that moment. There was no karma element, driving him into sad situations, by coming out in the form of emotions like anger, jealousy or fear.

He realized that fear is possible only if we cling to something. It is not the fear of losing something, but the exaggerated reaction of ours which is the problem. It is good to have sound health, but an addiction to talk on health and worrying about it can drive you and others crazy. It is good to know that snake can bite you and so be careful while it is around. But it is hysterical to run away from a rope, imagining it to be snake. It is the fear, the preconceived notions, karma elements, which generate that imagination.

When fear arises, it is better to be afraid than to suppress it by trying to prove that I am not afraid. The best way is to watch the fear. It gradually dissolves and what remains is only the fact. Ok this is snake, so what should I do? Should I run away or kill it or pray before it or put some other food items for it. You can think rightly only if you are free of karma. When there are no clouds of karma on you, then only the ‘self’ can think, act and say correctly. So the whole essence is to free the ‘self’ from karma and that is called Dharma.

How should one go about doing it? One of the most widely used techniques is to watch the Karmas and dissolve them. However, it is not so easy. Even those who know about it, get deluded. So there are many techniques given by evolved people. Most of these are meant to prepare us so that we become able to witness karmas.

Somebody said, surrender yourself to God. Now, what does it mean? If you surrender yourself to god, then there is nothing of yours – no property, relationships or even your thoughts and emotions. A true surrender will free yourself from holding and clinging to anything - thoughts, worries, body diseases. At this point, you just watch. You don’t do anything, but just become a spectator. And in those watching moments, you can see karmas dissolving and you getting nearer to the ‘self’.

Somebody says, do fasting. When you decide not to take food for a particular period or take only specific food, something magical happens immediately. You had been obeying demands for food from body and mind all these days. They were masters and you were a servant. Suddenly by deciding, by taking a resolution, you become the master. It immediately gives you a transformation. It immediately revives you. It immediately makes you strong and slaves become slaves.

Then at some point, you feel hungry. This means karmas are coming out and this is the time to watch them. In normal routine, these karmas do not come out. They are lying deep. Only in extreme situation these will come out and at that time, you will overreact on the situation (leading to more karmas). So, here is the time. Watch them and dissolve them. Whenever you are not happy or feel sad or hurt, that is the best time to watch for karma. When you feel joy you cannot make yourself to watch karmas and they will not easily come out at that time. So watch for these moments. Fasting is nothing, but a means to create that situation.

Somebody says, repeat verses or some special words or chant some bhajans, etc. What happens when you do this? As you go on repeating, after sometime, you will keep repeating it, but your mind will be in the market or fighting with some friend or seeing some beautiful girl or playing some game. This is what happens most of the times and you feel happy that you chanted Ram Naam thousand times.

The intention here is like this. When you chant and repeat the verses, watch the chanting and the words. When you keep repeating, the efforts are not required in remembering. After sometime, it becomes automatic and effortless. Then comes the important step. If you are not conscious, then you will slip into day dreaming. But if you keep yourself alert, you will start witnessing the chanting and the words. Then you will realize that you are not doing it, it is happening. Then you see that you are watching and it is happening. And suddenly you are detached from the activity. Suddenly you go beyond your illusory self. Suddenly you know yourself as a distinct entity. And then everything becomes clear. From here the journey to realize the self starts. Bhajans, shlokas, names, whatever you chant or repeat, all have same effect.

There is no Dharma out there to protect you from accidents or death or to give you profit in business or to clear your exams or to give you a good wife or husband or to get your daughter married or to win you a lottery. Dharma can just let you meet yourself and to help you become free from slavery of emotional, mental and bodily demands and pressures, which exist in you in the form of karmic elements. Yes that’s it. Those who really know, understand that it is ‘everything’.

The Generation Gap

I entered the house and saw grandpa lying on the bed, reading newspaper. It has been long time since we sat together and had a talk. All these days I have been running around to prepare for my MBA entrance exams. Today, my action list was empty and was in a mood to relax.

He was still engrossed into the newspaper. I knew, what he would be reading. Or at least what would be the final interpretation of any news item. I have known him closely from my childhood and it took really long time to draw a picture, which can be considered close to reality. I still find him puzzling and not sure if he feels the same for himself.

He heard my footsteps and turned his head towards me. Slowly, he kept the newspaper aside in a gesture to start a talk.

I have always loved elderly people. I love their company. There is some kind of attraction in elders. It is the same attraction as we feel for children.

I do not find grandpa’s company interesting.

“Where have you been?” he asked to start the conversation, without actually being interested in the answer.

“Went to submit a form for college entrance examination.”

“It must have been very hot out there”

To talk about weather in terms of its extremity and problematic nature is one of his favourite topics. He is always concerned about the climate, whether it is cold or hot. He will always say “Never fight with nature. Better take precautions.”

I could not somehow relate with his views. I always thought that more I fight, more resistant I will become. Though, lately I have stopped revealing my views in front of him. He knows my views and knows that I do not agree with him. Even then there is something inside him (which I have never been able to understand), which makes him say the same lines again and again. And he says them repeatedly in the same style. He expresses his views whenever he gets an audience. I can narrate his complete talk along with him, without missing a word. But he does not like to be reminded that he has already told the same thing before.

“Not much”. I could not find any better words to avoid any discussion on climate. I always try to avoid topics, which I know will result in an argument with him and which will leave both of us with dissatisfaction on each other’s views. Though I am not always successful and for some of these occasions, I accept the blame for accentuating the discussion. I have an urge to speak against what I feel is not right and this urge takes opportunities from grandpa’s words. I sometimes wonder that even a stupid topic like climate can lead us to an argument. But other topics in this category are also equally stupid. Or may be what we talk is stupid. Or may be what we talk for is stupid.

“Sit here” He says so when he has been thinking to talk to me for a few days.

I sat at the corner of the bed. He got up, straightened himself and then got seated against pillow resting on the wall.

“I went to temple today and asked for everybody’s well being” It was start of another topic, which I knew would not end as easily as the previous one.

“I have full faith in God. He will take care of all of us. He is all powerful. Have you not heard about the miracle that happened while the temple was being built?”

I remained silent and it did not matter to him. I tried to remember when was the first time he told this to me and how many times have I heard it.

“What do you do for your morning prayers?”

“Nothing.” I remember telling this to him at different occasions and was wondering if he is asking me again to confirm it or to make me think again or because he actually forgot it.

“You must pray to God everyday. You must remember him, only then he will help you. It is like the commissioner. Only if you keep visiting him, he will remember your face and then will help you in eventuality. You must keep your presence with God”

“I do not need any help.”

“Don’t be arrogant. Everybody needs help and there are so many things which are out of our control and power. There, only God can help you.”

“But I do not want to beg in front of anybody”

“You call it begging? Why? Don’t you ask your father and mother for anything? Is it begging? Why can’t you ask God too?

“What should I ask God for?”

“For wealth, prosperity, peace and education”

“But I have all that already as much as I need.”

“Ask him to keep increasing that.”

“I have ability to increase that.”

“Do not argue with me”

“I am not. I am just telling what I think”

“Don’t try to be too intelligent with me. We have seen this world much better than you and you are trying to tell me that I am wrong. What do you know about the world?”

“I am not trying anything and I don’t think I am intelligent. I have not seen much of world. I am just putting my thought before you. You tell me where I am wrong.”

“You people think that you know everything and dismiss all faiths. But you cannot understand everything. This world is just Maya and there is lot beyond it. You try to reason out everything. Not everything is understood with reason. You need to have faith”

“Faith in what?”

“Faith in God, about his divine power and his ability to transform your life.”

“Does it mean that God helps only those who believe that he is powerful and he leaves others in their pity situation?”

“You have again started arguing.”

“Why do you think I am arguing?”

“Nothing can be done about this generation…..If you do not ask for help, how is he going to help you? And you cannot ask for help if you do not have faith in him.”

“But you told the other day that God is Antaryami and knows everything, even past and future. Why do I need to ask him, if he already knows it? Does he want me to kneel down first and then will grant my wish?”

“So what do you think? He is sitting free to check if you need anything? And you will sit like a stone here and he will come and fulfill all your wishes while you sleep?

“No. I mean to say that if I am working towards a goal and if there is something on which he should help, he need not wait for my plea. He, being the most generous one, can do it even without me asking. And if I do not need help, then I should not go to him for anything. In either case, there is no need to ask for anything.”

“Do you want to understand or you want to teach me lessons on God”

“Ok. Who is this God? How is he so powerful than others? Why would he help me? How he would help me? How would my prayer reach him, while I sit in the temple? If he is there in that stone statute, there are millions of them? Is he in all statues? How can he be in so many statues?”

“You are asking all atheist questions and I will not answer them.”

“Ok. Let us say, I need help. Tell me how by going to temple and making a prayer will help me. I am not able to make sense out of it”

“Why? You put your prayer in front of God and he will see that it is granted. If you do it with full faith, it will be granted. But if you go with all these stupid doubts, you will not be listened.”

“Ok. Let me understand this. I want to get admission to this MBA college. Now, if I ask him for help, will I get?”

“Yes. But with faith and not with your arguments.”

“But let us say I get that help and get admission, will it not be unfair on the other student who deserved the seat and lost it just because I prayed to God. Is God unfair? Or he loves flattery. So whoever comes to him will get the results and others will not, even if they work hard for it?”

“You said go to God as we go to father. But even father will scold me if I ask him for money after he has educated me and made me able to earn. So if God has made us capable of achieving all wealth, education, prosperity and peace, why would he listen to our demands, which we ourselves can fulfill?

“Ok, before you say that I am arguing again, let me ask you this. All these temples and monks say that this world is Maya – illusion. We should concentrate on Dharma and not get involved into worldly things. I assume that this is what God taught and monks are spreading. Now, if God taught us to get detached from worldly things and we go to him and ask for a good job, good wife, profit in business, will he not laugh at us? I guess, he would love if people ask for better ways to know the reality of life and to get rid of illusion. Why would he grant those wishes, which he has taught this world to renounce?”

“Don’t try to be oversmart. We are not saints, we are normal human beings. We need material things for our survival. And we need to move step by step. We cannot be spiritual in a day. If you want to listen to the experienced and elderly, then listen it properly. If you think that you are very smart, then do as you wish.”

“I do not intend to show my smartness, but this may be the way we think about the old teachings, which do not match with reasoning. But why do you get upset with these questions? Why do you think that our attitude is wrong? If I am raising a question or a doubt, you can simply correct me and tell me the right reasoning.”

“This is not the way to speak to elders. You must respect them and the rich knowledge they possess. You should listen to them and follow their advices. This is for your good only.”

“I would love to get any useful knowledge. And I surely respect elders for their rich experience. But does respect mean to follow things blindly, without applying own reasoning and judgement? Does respect means to become a dumb follower? I am here to listen to you and I will do it attentively. But if you will ask me do anything or to follow any advice, I will definitely ask why.”

“If I am raising doubts, which are stupid or baseless, tell me why they are stupid and baseless. But why to ask me to shut up and accept everything you say. If you want me to follow any advice, you also give me good reasoning to support it and resolve my doubts. It is very easy to say ‘Follow whatever I say’. But what I need is your efforts and patience to think about my requirements, my misconceptions and then help me get into the right direction. If you keep getting upset assuming that our attitude is wrong and we are arrogant, how will it help?”

I could feel the uneasiness in my voice and felt that my use of words and sentences needs to tone down. Grandpa now picked up a file from the shelf in an indication to end the discussion. His face had a clear expression, as after every such discussion, saying – “These youngsters think that they have outgrown everybody else. God only knows, how they should be made to understand things. Anyways, life will teach them lessons when time will come.”

He got engrossed into his files. I asked him if he would like to take lunch now. I conveyed the message to mother and came out for a walk. I tried to make sense out of our discussion and gave up immediately. I looked around at houses on both sides of the road and wondered if these also see similar discussions inside. I felt as if the whole city, whole country is echoing with the same arguments, most of them unspoken.

Is there is any better way to reconcile the two thoughts and the two generations?

LIFE

Life is not about 'GIVE' & 'TAKE'.
Life is about 'GIVE' & 'RECEIVE'

An Illusion Named God

Everybody has his own belief about God and these come out of different reasons. Thousands of years ago somebody would have discovered the true self within and might have termed it as God. Somebody might have got the similar feeling while he would have looked at the enormity of the universe. Somebody might have witnessed a truly enlightened person and would have termed him as God. These were their own true beliefs, which they ‘felt’. And as it is a very much personal experience, it cannot be replicated, but can only be felt in its originality by every individual.

Coming generations got to know about something called God and they ‘heard’ from different people different explanations. Why some people believe in God and some do not, I think cause for both beliefs is the same. It is like this.

The concept of God is being taught from generations and as the child grows up what he sees around, it becomes deeply engraved. However, what he has learnt is only superficial and has never experienced it. But the continuous teachings, actions and talks around him makes him to believe that what he has learnt is true. As a grown up individual, he knows the concept and he is stuck with it. Though somewhere something within questions it, but he has no answer for it. And he does not dare to answer it, as he is too afraid of letting his deep rooted beliefs to be proved wrong. So he fights for it. He will try to prove everywhere that God exists. He will argue and do all to prove that. What actually he is doing is trying to prove it to himself (and he never succeeds really).

The other extreme implication is like this. Person keeps listening to the concept and something within questions it. He does not find any justified answer to what is being taught. But he is bombarded with the teachings, and society and family force him to believe what is being believed for generations. Now this person explodes on the opposite direction. He becomes against to any such belief which talks about existence of God. He keeps on doing things to prove that God does not exist. But he does it only to prove somebody or something wrong. He never moves to know the truth.

Now both these type of people are simply wasting their valuable energy. They are holding on to a strange concept, which has never been their own (they don’t even know that they have actually adopted it from somebody else) and are trying to prove it right. And what do they gain by proving it right or wrong?

The reality, the truth needs to be realized and experienced within. It is not a principal which can be learnt. But what happens in our society is that the concept of God is taught and every child is stuffed with the knowledge about God. The learning actually proves to be harmful because once you learn something, you either try to justify it, fit it somewhere or stand against it. And this effort takes the consciousness away from the reality lying within. Majority of people are just blindly believing this concept. I am saying blindly because, they learn the concept first and then try to justify its existence by using some reasoning. But it is so dry and superficial and very dangerous as it makes the person prejudiced.

It does not mean that we disprove or ignore the old teachings. We should listen to them without making any judgement on their truth. We should simply understand that somebody is telling us something and we do not know whether it is true or false.

The people who believe in God and people who deny its existence, both are bound by some mental block. There is some intellectual stuff that they want to prove by arguing over something which cannot be argued with people (as it is a personal experience).

Somebody is asking if nature is God, who created nature? It must be God and therefore God exist. Other will ask, if you say somebody must create nature, then somebody must create God also, so who created God? Other would say God has always been there and nobody created it.

Now, let’s just think over it. What do we get out of all this? This is just mental illusion to get satisfaction that what I believe is right. But just probe in within. What you think, you believe, is it really your belief or it is something which has been stuffed into your mind by the society, the family and the people around. Is it something really which you truly believe in?

No belief about God in this society can be termed as right or wrong. But yes, one thing can definitely be said that the beliefs which make the person restricted, which makes him believe that other is wrong, which takes him away from himself, are surely not the right beliefs. The true belief is the one which liberates the person from all limitations, external and internal, which makes him feel respect for the life, which makes him spread the love around and with which he can feel the oneness within.

Compartmentalising Relationships

Friends, good friends, best friends, life partner - These and many more relationships are defined by us. We have named these relations based on our experience for years. And this is required sometimes to consciously know this separation. But it becomes unnecessary effort, when we try to compulsorily fit all individuals in these categories.

Can’t we just be, what we want to be to a person, without naming the relationship? So if I feel like chatting everyday with somebody, I do that. If I feel like doing something for the other, I do that. If I feel like spending life with somebody, I do that. Do we really need to categorise them into some compartments, which we only created and which have only increased the confusion?

Let us look at the beginning of civilisation. Somebody would have felt that he is good person to chat with and I have good time with him. So they started spending time together, sharing their thoughts and doing things together (We call them friends).

And then there is somebody, who feels like - I cannot live without this person. After meeting him/her, he/she becomes an essential part of the life. One feels a completeness with him/her. So they choose to stay together (We call it marriage)

But in these cases, reason comes first and then we name the relationship. Then only purity of relationship remains. What we normally do is, as soon as we meet a person, we try to fit him into a category in our life. So the relationship is named first, and then efforts are taken to adjust things as per that. It cannot sustain. There is such a vast degree of difference in our relationships, that we cannot put two people at same place in our life. They occupy a completely different space.

Take the case of marriage. In real sense, there is no need to do adjustments, sacrifices and so on. What I mean is, even if it looks like a sacrifice to others, it is not actually. So as Ashwita said, the spouse will learn to play the sport, it may look to others that spouse is adjusting or taking extra effort for maintaining marriage. But to him/her, it is gaining happiness from the happiness of life partner. It is so natural, if two people are in love.

But problem happens, when marriages are performed as a ritual, as a necessity. And then two people try to fit themselves into the expected framework. This may work out, but it will require adjustments and sacrifices and these do not sustain for long (at least these cannot let you have the real essence of love). Today there is so much hoopla and gyan on maintaining relationships, the reason is basic feeling is missing. People marry without having the right reason for it. Marriages happen first and then reasons are searched to stay together. That’s not marriage (or at least it was not meant like that, when it would have started).

I think the question is not whether best friend can be a good husband, but point is, anybody you are going to marry, is he the one with whom you want to spend your entire life? Is he the one who gives fulfillment to your life? Is he the one with whom you are yourself? Is he the one with whom your journey of life will be more joyful and enriching? Now, the ones we call as best friends may or may not fit as the part of life. It cannot be generalized. It depends on your way of life and values, and the way you define best friends.

He is mean to me

If somebody feels that people are making fool of him or people are mean to him, the total fault is of the person himself and nobody else. Fault is not about doing something for people who do not value it or try to take advantage out of it. But fault is of doing something and feeling bad about it depending on the reactions of others.

It is true that we all expect people to respond properly for something done by us. It is very normal to feel bad when you know that people are taking advantage out of your generosity.

But first of all, let us see what we are doing? We feel like doing something. We feel like doing it because we wanted to do it. We do it. Now we should be happy about following our heart, about taking an action which WE wanted to take. But what we do - We try to get the acknowledgement from others. Nothing wrong in that. We should take reactions from people. But problem is it goes to the extent that our future actions become dependent on it? So if somebody gave a return smile, we will smile again, but if somebody didn’t, we will hate his face (many times we do not know what was the reason of him not smiling).

Similarly, many times we think that the other person is being mean to us. But it is always better to understand it completely before making interpretation. It is even better to talk it out. But we do not do that, we are more comfortable assuming things, than opening up and saying things as they are.

And it may be that person is trying to take undue advantage of us. but how can a person make us do something which we did not want to do? And if we wanted to do something, and he is taking advantage out of it, let him take. How are we bothered about it? If we feel that something should be done for the other, let’s not do it. But doing it and then cribbing – isn’t it fooling ourselves?

Another aspect of such cases is - it is not only that other people are mean in these cases, but many times person makes himself gullible to such things. He will have a self image of being good to others. He secures acceptability from doing things for others. Now even if he knows that other people are taking advantage of him, he will not have courage to come out and say 'this is enough'. He will continue doing that and will keep cribbing on the back. He will not break his image of being nice and will continue his goody things. He will not understand that by winning others acceptability he is losing self respect. Now if he does not have courage to follow his heart, how can he blame others? The people who support his goody actions, may seem like his friend but they make him even weaker. The reactions they get is rather a good trigger to know that you are following your heart and falling into other’s trap.

They say, if stone and glass crashes and glass breaks, it is not because of stone, but the nature of the glass. This may sound very rude, but it is the fact. This is not to support the mean actions of others. There is no doubt that we all should have gratitude to goodness done to us. But point is, we can’t go and change the world to react as what we wish. We can only work to become strong enough to face any foolish, stupid, mean or shrewd behaviour.

There are people who know what they are doing and are happy about it irrespective of what others say or do about it. They do their part, let people do their own. Everybody is free to do what he or she wishes. If we start bothering about reactions of others, we cannot move even a single step. Everybody has his own way of thinking.

Yes, it is difficult to do acts independent of other’s reactions. But this difficulty is just an illusion. Ask a person (or ask yourself), who has been spoiling his hours and days remembering other’s reactions. Ask him, by doing that what he has done to himself and his time. Is it not difficult to spend time like this? I think doing what we want to do and leaving reactions to other’s choices is much easier. It’s only a matter of knowing it.

Brothers & Sisters - How Chemistry Goes Bad

(Somebody shared his not-so-good relationship with his brother and this came out in repsonse).

We have always heard of great friendship stories. Childhood friends sharing a great relation for the rest of their age. they might not play around same way, but just look at them when they meet after years.

Ever seen such a bonding among siblings? There may be some, but so rare. 90% of the cases, we come across are such where siblings do not share a great bondage. Yes, they share a great deal between them, but still it does not go much beyond blood connection and rarely reaches the intensity of freindhsip (Rather, in many cases, relationship gets spoiled as they grow and start getting settled in their lives). In 9.5% cases, relationship is sour from childhood or teenage itself.

It is surprisingly so familier situation and I am sure that most of us share greater relationships with friends rather than brothers or sisters. And we all have some degree of friction with siblings, ranging from fights over petty matters to the complete cold war. There are in fact very few people who have got their siblings as their best friends. Now this seems so contradictory. They are the ones we know since our childhood and understand them much better than anybody else, and then also we are not able to develop wonderful relationships with them.

If we have a clear look, we might find that most of the times reason does not lie in what we did not do, or what we should have done, or what we need to do, but rather in contamination of relationship with needless considerations we add to the simple chemistry (Rather that’s true with any relationship).

Let’s look at this relationship simply. Here is somebody who knows us and whom we know so well. They are the ones who have cared for us and we have reciprocated. They are here so that the life is more enjoyful. They are here so that joys and sorrows can be shared. They are there so that we can remove our social masks and become the real self and open our hearts and share our feelings. They are there so that we play and laugh together. That is the simple (but very powerful) role for which they are there in our life.

In this simple chemistry, the contamination we bring is reacting to other's reaction. So, last time when I went to him (or anytime I approach him), he did not responded…or yelled at me…or gave me a sarcastic remark…or regarded me as less important and so on.... Yes, these things are painful. But we never go beyond ruminating over our bad feeling. We just withdraw ourselves from talking to him, deciding that talking to them gives pain (that’s our immediate conclusion). It is painful even to face the memory of what happened and so immediate and easiest way is to withdraw. But our mind does not let us go so easily. It reminds us continuously – no he is your brother, how can you have bad relationship with them, no that is not possible. And we get mad between these thoughts (we never go beyond these thoughts and continuous rumination).

We first need to face this reality - Yes, I had painful interaction or events with him. And if I am thinking over it, it means that I want it to transform to good relationship. We might even realize that, we do not want to have great relationship with this person. This is very much possible. It may be that we are moving with burden of obligation to make relationship strong, just because of blood connection. Once we realize this, the way he reacts will not be of any significance.

Whatever it is, let us get clear about what we want first. If we know that a nice relationship will make our life better, we would better see if we can do something about it.

“Let me see, what he did to me. He made this reaction, which I did not like and it hurt me. Why did he do that? Did he know when he did that and whether he is aware about how I feel about it? If not, let me go and ask. But asking for such things feels so embarrassing. What he will think about it? He will think that I am a fool asking such a question? Or he will react even more badly on me asking this? It will be really bad then. Yes it might be. But right now I am feeling miserable. At least here there is a hope. It might be that he did it unintentionally and so things will get clear. My intention is clear – I want good relationship – and so even if I make some mistake in doing that, it is fine. It may be that he is doing that intentionally. Then he needs to answer for that. And even if he does not answer, at least he need to know that I feel bad about it and I want this relationship to give happiness to both of us and to people around us.”

The best thing when we feel uneasiness with anybody, is to express that uneasiness as it is. In 50% cases, the other person immediately opens up and expresses his feelings, though may not be very openly (they do not expect this openness from us, but they also feel burdenless when we talk freely. Their immediate reaction might be anything, but they develop respect for openness, honesty and intentions. They rather start understanding us better). In other 50% cases, person might tell us not to worry about his reaction. Even he feels bad about the way he reacts and he will thank for giving the feedback. (In all cases, one realization which comes, is that the matter was not so complex, difficult and cumbersome, as I had created in mind by delaying the conversation for so long).

The reaction that we always dread (he will feel insulted, or will get angry or will just walk away) never arise. And even if it happens exceptionally, it is only an immediate reaction and our free talk definitely leaves a mark of openness and intentions. Somewhere he does realize the real situation. The mistake that we make in these situations is to react to his immediate reaction either openly or within ourselves. We only need to be attentive to our actions and to stick to what we think is right. In such cases, it might take some time, but gradually the person starts melting. It is difficult to accept faults and we can make their job easy by behaving in manner in which we think is right (and in not reacting to his behaviour). So if I feel like giving smile to him, I will give it, irrespective of his indifferent or puzzled looks. If I feel like telling him something, I will tell him and look at him expectantly as an ordinary person would expect an answer. If he does not answer, I will feel bad as a normal person would, if I really get that feeling. And it gives such a wonderful feeling, because we will suddenly feel liberated. We are no more dependent on others reactions to decide our actions. We become free from something which had controlled all our reactions, contrary to our will. Now we are in control of our own actions. It feels wonderful and it will transform our life as well as life of people around dramatically.

If someone feels that brother being more intelligent is not giving him proper response, he would better go deeper. See how many good friends of him are intelligent. We do not need intelligent people for relationships. We need loving and caring people. But we trade in love also. I cared and loved so much for him and he did not even notice. What is this? Why do you want a DESIRED and SPECIFIC reaction in response? Why can’t you do what you want to do and end the matter. Let other person do what he thinks he should do. But we always condition our action as per how other person should react to our actions. So if he does not react as we desire, we withdraw totally from him.

And it is not withdrawal. Rather it is a dirty attachment. Every time we remember that person or see him, we are filled with pain. So we develop a relationship, but a painful one. Yes, it is difficult not to expect a desired response. So expect it, no problem. It is painful, if it does not come that way. Yes it is so, accept it. Why to run away from these things. Life is what it is and pain is where we run away from reality, from things as they are. We do not want to even accept that what happened has actually happened. Let’s take a step forward. Yes, it is not easy. But sitting and feeling bad is also not easy. Is it easy to bear the burden of bad relationship? And we have choice of actions. We can stop talking to him. Yes. What will happen then. We will not be able to face each other. We will have this pinch all the time. If I do not want this, what’s the other way. Go and talk to him. Express all feelings truly and openly. There is no chance that he will not understand it.

What is Loss of Humour

(Somebody shared his anxiety over loss of humour and this came out)

Are you talking about situation, where you want to laugh with people, crack jokes, make people laugh, have good and fun time with them. But at the same time, you are somehow not able to do that. Either there is something which stops you from coming out with something humourous, or that even if you want to come out, you can't find the right manner, or other's probable reactions hold you from saying what you want to say?

If that is the case, it may have its roots in you trying to save your image in mind of others. Let me share this example and realisation. A child grows up in an atmosphere, where you have defined criteria of what is good and what is bad. So you learn that drinking, smoking, flirting are signs of bad boys. These boys do all mischief in school and at home. Good boys are sincere and concentrate only on studies. They do not run around, laugh around. They are serious, sincere and polite. All these years, boy gets to learn these things and get rewards for complying with society defined norms.

He sees children playing in streets, getting soiled, shouting and laughing. He also feels like going. But immediately the thought is buried, as being weired. He has seen others failing and himself getting high marks. He has got results and so he does not mind being that way.

As he grows, he knows he is good boy and is always rewarded being that way. So in all his actions, he either tries to enhance that image or to protect this image. And while concentrating on this imaginary self made projection, he loses the real self. In most of the cases that I have observed, loss of humour is because the person wants to cling to his image and does not want to create a different image in society. This fear and hesitation takes aways the inner joy, freshness and originality of person. One can't be genuinely humourous with such burden on head.

To be really humourous, person needs to be completely free of any such burden. Effective humour in most of the cases is not pre-intended. It just comes out. It is the basic nature of humans. Only we have suppressed it under multiple layers.

The only way to gain it back is to break these layers. And it may take time, depending on how many layers you have created. One way in which it can be practically done is to be attentive to the events when you hold yourself from saying or doing something. On such occassions, ask yourself why you are not moving ahead. If answer comes in terms of others will laugh or others might not feel right about it, then go ahead and do that. Break your image of being a good boy, or a serious person or a decent individual. You are what you are. If you feel that doing or saying something (which you feel like saying or doing) will make others think that you are a fool or you are mad or you are not consistent in your actions, better to listen to your voice and do it, rather than holding it up. After all before pleasing any body else you need to please the most important person - Yourself. If you only care about others and not about yourself, your SELF will be lost. So open up and do not leave an opportunity to just be.

Just a Thought

Har Karwaan se aage nikalne ka Junoo Tha hamme,
Zindagi kab peechhe nikal gayi pata naa chalaa.

The Difference

What is the difference between 'the way a normal man works' on one hand, and on the other hand...................

a bird sitting high on a tree signing...... or a flower blossoming with the first ray of light......... or a deer taking long strides towards nowhere.................. or waves coming up and getting lost back into the sea...................... or a new born spreading his smile without any reason.......................... or a tree dancing with winds..................... or two feet moving with the rhythm of music unaware of any dancing rules................................... or a butterfly moving from one flower to another................ or a candle shining brightly knowing that it is continuously losing itself.......... or a monk sitting under a tree with a serene smile...........................

Does the difference lies in intent? Is there are difference of intention or that others (excpet man) do not have intent at all. They do things freely without any intent? But is it intent or a nasty desire to get something or to get away from something, which makes things stressed? Because intent is very pure. If you do something with a clear intent, clear goal, it takes you there very smoothly and happily. But what causes all disturbances in humans? It cannot be a pure intent. It has to be a corrupted intent, if at all it is there. What is it that corrupts it. What is it that is not there in others and so their activities are so pure, despite man being considered superior not only in terms of its physical evolution but also spiritually.

It is the NO to REALITY, NO to THE PRESENT that is the root of all problems. Either we are saying no to a future expected situation and so we are in fear or we are saying no to present situation and so we are uneasy, jealous, depressed and so on. We are trying to fake reality. We just want to change the present moment into something more desirable. Yes, we can change. But we can change future, not the present, not something which is already there.

The cure to all uneasiness is to understand and accept the PRESENT as it is, and taking step with 100% will to make the desired difference.

All serenity in the world is not something acquired by practice or learnt from outside, but it has always been there inside. Only it needs to be unveiled from the covers of our masked reality.

Rethinking Educational System

Today’s education system TRIES to provide tools and skills for survival of a person. However, tools and skills can be utilized properly (and not misutilized) only when person has following elements:
1) He knows and understands himself.
2) He knows what he wants in life – the purpose
3) He clearly knows his priorities and values
4) He can keep himself standing in all turbulent situations – internal and external

These are the foundations on which a person starts living and enjoying life. But our educational system has no focus at all on these areas. We do not have any complementary of alternative system running efficiently, which can compensate for that. Family can assist in this direction to a great extent, but present day parents are also the product of same rotten system and so cannot do much in this direction.

Now talking about skills, our educational system is totally handicapped in providing even the skills and tools. First of all, it does not provide the basic and most important skills, like communication, thought process, creativity, physical fitness, healthy food, arts, imaginative & visual capabilities, self control, etc. Secondly, whatever, skills it teaches, the methodology is completely disoriented. The whole educational system is based on making child learn things by heart. So you have huge books to read. You have homework to write same thing 10 times, and then you have exams to vomit out everything that you learnt during last one year or last one month of exam preparation. The goal of our present educational system is to produce people who can remember things well and then put the same thing on paper. Is this what we need to use in life? Do we need human encyclopedias or the creators? Do we need human books or the action oriented visionaries? We need to decide and then we need to look at what we are giving children. Today’s educational system is garbage and as the principle goes - ‘garbage in garbage out’ – we are going to get non-thinking, theoretical, lousy idiots moving around us (we have already enough of them).

This system is slowly and silently taking the capabilities of human beings to a gradual death. If immediate actions are not taken, results will be disastrous.

Distortion of a Healthy Entertainment

I was sitting idle and browsing channels, when Antakhsari passed through. It was one of my favourite programs and I used to watch it regularly, but because of other indulgences, could not see it for a long time. So, there was no second thought on continuing the same channel for next half an hour.

I came to know that it was second last round of Antakhsari ‘Mahasngram’. It Sounded competition with more difficult levels played at broader geographical levels. With teams coming from different regions, it was understood that the competition was at national level. Rounds were more difficult and innovative and I expected the even better level of entertainment as I used to get a couple of years back

However, what I came across was a horrible version of a concept, which used to be simply entertaining to audience, highly encouraging to participants and had healthy competition touch. Now, it is no more an urge to display the talent and to perform better, rather objective is to beat the other teams. You cannot simply sit and enjoy the songs and the game. Now there are emotional moments, angry situations and depressing comments. Emotional levels are unusually very high.

It felt uneasy to see participants sobbing on making a mistake or on losing points. They expressed anger at other teams getting something which they felt was not justified. Even audience is adding to this whole drama. Over and above, Anchors, rather than encouraging and creating light atmosphere, acted as catalyst or even worse, perpetuator, to the whole emotional enactment.

There is nothing wrong in being upset over your mistake or on you losing the game. It is also right to express your protest against unjustified actions. However, disturbing fact is the unnatural and exaggerated manner, in which the emotions were expressed and screened. What rules the whole show is exaggerated emotions, high tension levels and a compulsion to perform to beat others.

There is no more a feeling of having watched a beautiful competition, where participants showed their talent. Now it has become a matter of life and death. Now it is a matter of your respect, respect of your family, respect of your city, your region. So you cannot afford to lose. You must win, at any cost.

Observe the faces of participants in different situations. They are so tense at all times. There is no calmness or serenity or a sense of self assurance. Anchors have been repeating – it is grand competition, how important it is for them not to lose. And they have not told this to only participants, they have been shouting this to whole world. Now the pressure levels are immense. Voice of anchors is reflecting from people around and getting magnified. You are representing the region, you cannot let us down. You will bring shame on us, if you lose.


Participants’ faces have hardened in a strive not to lose, audience are flowing with the same emotional turbulence and anchors are ensuring never to let it come down. What gets crumpled under the weight of these heavy emotions is the underlying goal of the program - Goal to provide a melodious evening to audience; Goal to provide a platform, an encouragement to the budding talent; Goal to play antakshari in a professional and entertaining manner. With this, the whole concept, whole meaning of the program is lost. What comes out of the program is the depressed eyes of losing teams, and over inflated winners filled not with satisfaction and happiness of winning but with hollow superiority complex.

Where are we going? Why we are distorting the simple things? Misguided commercialization is the answer. Sponsors want more audience and all exercise is to attract and involve audience into the program. Market and marketers believe that audience can get attached to program only if there are emotional ups and downs in the program. There should be emotional display of anger and fear. Audience should be able to feel sympathy or anger or support or protest for particular teams. Only when these levels are maintained, they believe, audience will stick to the program, otherwise they will get bored of it.

It is pity that Marketers have been so short sighted in their thinking and conceptualising. It is true that these things attract audience and make them feel attached to the program. But question is whether it is sustainable. You can read or watch news of rap, accidents, murder, scandal upto a limit. But do you feel good about it or does it leave you with a good feeling. No, rather it generates distaste with time. Then you want to feel good at heart, you need something simple, something natural, something close to heart. These are the things with lasting impact. People might get temporary attraction to exaggerated display of fear, lust and emotions, but it is never long lasting.
Further, even in short term, does these programs give desired results to marketers? Marketers can consult psychologist to understand if the person watching commercials during such programs will develop distaste for the products also. The blind race started by product companies, perpetuated by marketers, followed by television programs and played by talented participants has resulted into nothing but lose-lose situation, in which whoever participates, loses, including the winner.

5 Day Week: From Organisations’ Perspective

What is the difference between a 5 day week and 6 day week?

As it looks on its face, it is a loss of 9 hours per person per week for the company, which translates to 468 hours per person per year. So, for any manufacturing concern, it means that a worker who is producing 54 units under 6 day week, shall produce 45 units in a 5 day week (loss of capacity of 17%).

The above conclusion is based on the premise that the productivity or efficiency of an employee is directly proportionate to the number of hours spent by him in the organization. Experts give further explanation on efficiency, which measures it as a product of ability and willingness of a person towards his work. Ability can be in terms of physical strength and capabilities, aptitude, skills, etc. Willingness is the person’s inner drive to get involved into the assignment and to complete it in qualitative manner. Let us analyse the how number of hours at work is correlated to the person’s efficiency.

Number of hours spent by a person on work affects him in two ways. First, time spent at work gives person a deep satisfaction of learning for himself and contributing to the organization. Every person has a conscious or unconscious urge to act towards a meaningful purpose and work provides him this opportunity. In absence of a meaningful activity, person might feel good initially about not being required to do anything, but shall very soon realize the emptiness and shall get frustrated. Thus, number of hours spent at work is an important source of satisfaction for a person, whether he/she realizes it or not.

Second effect of working hours is on his life beyond office. Besides being involved on a meaningful job in the organisation, person spends his time for himself, family, friends and society and this investment of time is equally important for him as being at work. Though the proportion of time spent on these may vary from person to person, every person needs time for these activities. Time spent for self includes time for relaxation, entertainment, self development, spirituality, etc.

It should be noted here that every person, at any given point of time, is a product of his complete past, specially the closest past. It means that, person cannot leave his emotions at home and work like a machine at office. At the same time, office atmosphere affects the way, he behaves at home. Thus, from organisation’s point of view, the person who enters the office premises is a complete human being, whose efficiency at work is not irrespective of what happens outside office hours or the way he is spending his full day, week and year. It means that the time spent by person on self, with family and friends and in society, affects the productivity of person at work.

This may be partially true for mechanical or clerical jobs, however, it is a significant factor affecting the efficiency at managerial levels. Further, as the responsibility levels go up, these factors become even more important.

Now, interestingly, number of working hours are inversely proportionate to the number of hours, he/she can use for self, family, friends and society. Obviously, an organization, paying for the person’s time, cannot afford to lose that time for the sake of him/her spending time elsewhere and from that point of view even a 7 day week is desirable. At the same time, matured organizations know that only a happy person (at personal and official level), who is content with what he possesses at present, and who has an eye on to the next bigger goal, can be the most effective person at work. These are the organizations, which keep their focus on developing the person in all respects (not on how much time he is sitting at his desk), because they know that this is the only way to get the best output from people.

Now, what does it take to develop a person in all respects and to make him happy and content. First need is to make him happy at work. This can be done by providing those assignments, where his interest lies, by giving more challenges, allowing independence, providing timely and honest feedback, celebrating success, giving recognition and rewards for good work and developing an atmosphere of trust and confidence,. Management needs to believe that people are willing and are able to put their best.

Secondly, person needs to be given sufficient opportunity to relax and rejuvenate. Relaxation enhances person’s efficiency. Continuous engagement at work gradually reduces the efficiency of the person. Organising events, outbound programs and gatherings at organizational level is very effective in this direction. Further, person is just not a worker or an employee. He has his own personal and social aspirations and he should be able to spend time with himself, family, friends and society. These things rejuvenate him and give him fresh energy to take up higher tasks. Moreover, these activities (along with challenging work) give him satisfaction of living a complete meaningful life. Thus, it is important from the point of view of organisation to provide person sufficient time and opportunity for the relaxing and refreshing activities beyond work.

Thus, for an organization to benefit from person’s best output, (among other things) it needs to strike a right balance between number of hours spent by him at work and beyond work. One extreme is to make him work whole day all 7 days. Another extreme is to allow him to work as and when he wishes. Different levels have been discovered and experimented at different times.

A decade and a half back, when responsibilities on individuals were not high, pressure levels were moderate or low and working hours were limited, 6 day weeks were manageable. However, at present times, when there is no limit on working hours, pressure levels are mounting and every person handles critical responsibilities, it is imperative that the person needs to be given time, opportunity and avenue to rejuvenate himself to gear up for these activities. This is the reason, why most of the organistions have adopted 5 day week in their work culture.

It can be noted here that 5 day week does not reduce the output level of person. On the contrary, his productivity and effectiveness gets better. The same has been experimented in organizations world over. It has been observed that in most of the cases, people spend disproportionate amount of time on work. The six day work does not necessarily take six days and can be effectively framed within five days. The principal ‘work occupies the time available’ applies in most of the organisations and functions. It makes them habitual (rather addictive) of long working hours and their efficiency level goes down.

Interestingly, in many cases, people sitting on desks is an illusion of productivity. Surprisingly, the illusion is not only for bosses but even for the person himself. He starts believing that he is putting extra efforts and is the busiest person around. At the same time, he wonders why people putting lesser efforts (because they leave office on time and do not work on weekends) are being rewarded and are happier.

Person doing job with limited working hours and days, does a more focused and quality job than other people. Here, it should be noted that if need is critical, people anyways come on weekends and even stay late to complete the work. It is rather sometimes fun to come on weekend for few hours, in an informal atmosphere and to do things without usual tense work atmosphere. However, if people are given choice and freedom, they can utilize time in more productive manner.

It is critical that management take account of the responsibilities and work load, put systems in place for systematic processes and place adequate manpower to meet the requirements. Most importantly, management needs to understand and believe that the work does not necessarily need 6 days and can be completed in 5 days. It is only perception of management, a fear of losing something, which stops management from moving to 5 day week regime. In the present work conditions, 5 day week is the right balance for the development of person as well as for the benefit of organization.

The Radio

The quality of sound from a radio depends on (among other things), how properly tuned it is. It is not a big technical exercise, rather a very simple but delicate act. A minute movement is enough to set the reception at right level. And it is experimentation. Sometimes here sometimes there and then we know where the best tuning comes.

It seems that situation of this world today is like a untuned radio. There is no melody, no balance, but the harshness and haphazard actvities without any synchronisation. As the untuned radio keeps giving unwanted sound, this world is producing unwanted situations. There is chaos in place of harmony, there is confusion in place of clarity, there is misery and sadness in place of rythm and joy. Man, as he sits beside radio and cribs about its sound, keeps cribbing about the state of affairs - at home or in the world.

Why does this type of situation arises? Let's start from the beginning. In the beginning, people knew why they used radio. They used it for music, for entertainment and to get relaxed. The radios (or the world for that matter) were finetuned. Melody, harmony and music was the part of life. The great thinkers, philosophers and well wishers draw the guidelines on where and how to finetune life and world as a whole. They prescibed the ways and means so that tuning is maintained at that level.

Then, years passed by. Generations kept on using radio. They had seen their forefathers using it and so knew it is supposed to be used, it is supposed to be played. But with time, they forgot the purpose behind its use. The radio kept on playing without generating the feelings it used to generate in previous generations. It became more a showpiece and a tradition. Everyday on some particular times, it has to be played. It became more of a routine for the sake of it, rather than a means to serve a bigger purpose. (If want to think in context of world, just replace word 'traditions' for 'radio'.)

Then some more changes happened. Technology changed and model of radio changed. New frequencies were introduced, older ones became redundant. Now the man should have tuned it to the better and new frequencies. But, he does not want to think at his own. He wants to live under the comfort of guidelines given by the forefathers. So he does the tuning with same old guidelines. He does not apply his mind to understand the principle and logic behind those guidelines. He does not discover new guidelines which might be useful for present and future generations. His closemindedness does not allow him to challenge old rules. He keeps tuning at the same levels and with same means. On the new radio, many times he is not able to find the old buttons as were given in guidelines. He cannot understand the new buttons which have come up in new radios. He avoids to know about any new frequencies being introduced. Man does not want to know that the rules prescribed by forefathers were applicable in that time and situation and needs to be redefined for the present requirements. How can those great forefathers be wrong? What this new generation knows? He never gets any answer, nor the satisfaction. (If want to think in context of world, just replace word 'moral teachings' for 'rules and guidelines' and replace word 'life' for 'radio'.)

People keep following the rules and guidelines given in scriptures and moral teachings, which were perfectly applicable in olden times. The essence of those principles is not understood and teachings are followed only by words not by their deeper intentions. Their psychological slavery to old traditions does not allows them to challenge old rules. At the same time, their inner sense of logic and rationality keep knocking their mind questioning their actions. Now, it creates a conflict and person becomes even more confused. He keeps suppressing his inner voice, which keeps warning and questioning him. He knows that there is something wrong, but cannot figure it out.

Then, the suppressed inner voice is no more stoppable. But, it has now changed its course. being suppressed, it has got distorted on its way and comes out in ugly ways also. Somewhere the traditions were ruling the person. Now, the suppressed emotions go to other extremes. There is rebellion. So, if they are taught to be religious, they will become atheist. If they are taught not to accumulate wealth, they will worship money. If they are asked to observe austerity, they will become womaniser. If they are asked to repsect elders, they will put them into old age homes. If they are asked to spread love, their arrogance will sweep the world.

And thus, the tuning, which was on one extreme (that was also not right), goes on to the other extreme. This also generates nothing but dissatisfaction, because man is still not on the right tuning.

So what is this right tuning. Right tuning is something, which puts this world on track, in harmony with the nature, which makes everybody happy and this world a peaceful and prosperous place to live.

How to know, what is the right tuning level. To know the right tuning level, first there is need to undertand the purpose behind it. Why at all we use radio (why do we live life). One needs to be very clear about the goal. This goal becomes his compass whenever, he needs direction. Once the goal is determined, now he needs to know the right way to move towards it. First of all he himslef needs to chalk out his course of journey. Then, he can take help and assistance from the old teachings. These teachings are based on extensive experiments and learnings for a long period. They act as a good consultant. But only as consultant. The decision has to be yours only. so there are only two steps - find out your purpose and take the right course of action (right course means something which matches your values, something which when followed, gives you inner peace and happiness)