Faith Vs. Reason

"There are few things which you have to believe, without asking for reasons." There was clear hint of annoyance in his voice. Mr. Tripathi is our neighbour and this was the first time, we had spoken beyond formal greetings. He is a firm believer in the divine power and I made a mistake of asking some clarifications.

Actually, he started it. "You will always have limited success and happiness unless you believe in HIM" he had said.  

I could not understand. "Believe in WHOM?"

"The Divine. You can call him God, Energy, Nature or whatever."

"What should I believe?

Now he got perplexed. "What are you asking?

"I am asking what should I believe. I guess you are asking me to believe three things - One, there is some divine power over and above us. Second, it has power to help us in life. Third, if I believe in it and pray, it will grant me the wishes or protect me from evil things. Are you saying that?"

"aaaammm......yes. So what? What's the problem? Is it not good for you? Why can't you believe? Have faith and your life will be much better."

"But how can I just start having believe or faith? It is not a piece of bread, which I can lift, put into mouth and swallow. I need some basis to believe in something."

"Now, this is the problem with your generation. You want reason for everything. But remember, there are so many things, which science has not been able to explain. Tell me, why they have not been able to make life in laboratories?"

"If science has not understood few - or may be lot of - things, is it right to assign all those things to some divine power? Few centuries ago, lightening was considered to be the anger of divine. Will you believe in such thing now?

"You people just know to argue, but you will not understand what I am saying. Ok, tell me why you do not believe in God?"

"I did not say, I do not believe in God."

"You are such an impossible person. Just now you had been arguing like mad, and now you are saying, you believe in God"

"Ok, let me clarify. I am not saying I believe in God. I am also not saying I do not believe in God. I am just saying 'I do not know'. I do not have proofs either way. I do not need proofs either way. So I can't say anything definitely"

"Then you will live your life in limbo? You will not have any firm stand? You will keep moving like pendulum from one side to other? What are you saying? You must have the clarity."

"I am not in limbo. I am just open. And it does not make any difference to me, if there is divine power or not. I will be same in any case. So why should I bother?" "And even if I want to know, I will not take a stand just because I have to. Will you take a stand saying that there are only 9 planets? What if scientists discover more? What will happen to your belief?"

"Forget all this. I do not know all your logical tricks. What I know is belief is much beyond and much powerful than your reasons. Only when you drop your reasons, then the belief will rise"

"If reason is dropped, then what will be the difference between 'Belief' and 'Blind Faith'?"

"That's different" Blind faith is not same as belief."

"Ok, so what is the difference between Belief and Blind Faith?"

"I will tell you some other time. You have confused me completely with you rubbish"

"The difference is 'Reason'. Wherever there is no reason, it is blind faith."

"Ok. So tell me why you need to believe, if you have all reasons? Do you understand me? If something is proved, it is proved - and you do not need any belief. So, as per you, there is no place for belief. Am I correct?"

"Let me explain this. Let us assume that I am planning to start my own business. I know that this is the best thing to do, because my passion and strength lies in it. But, then I am told - economy is bad, you need experience, you need lot of money, you will not get partner, you will probably fail, how will you repay the loan, think about your family - and so on."

"In this situation, I need to keep alive the spark of belief in my decision. Not just because, I believe in it blindly. But because I have a bigger reason to go for it, which others are not able to see." 

"The problem with such reasons is that they are sometimes difficult to explain and express. So, externally people think that person has acted on a belief without reason. Oprah Winfrey was fired from TV channel, saying that she is not fit for TV. She kept the belief in her abilities and became legendary TV show host. The reasoning she has about herself was not blind, it was just difficult to explain. She was required to take extra efforts to believe in it, because if not nurtured constantly, beliefs of others may overpower it."

"This also applies to somebody who has genuinely experienced (may be briefly) divinity around. He / she may find it difficult to explain it, but the experience is good enough reason to believe in it. However, if somebody says he / she believes in God, without any experience, it is nothing but blind faith. It does not matter whether it is truth or not, but the belief without reason is always blind faith. Belief may be beyond generally accepted logic, but it cannot be beyond reason."

The Generation Gap

I entered the house and saw grandpa lying on the bed, reading newspaper. It has been long time since we sat together and had a talk. All these days I have been running around to prepare for my MBA entrance exams. Today, my action list was empty and was in a mood to relax.

He was still engrossed into the newspaper. I knew, what he would be reading. Or at least what would be the final interpretation of any news item. I have known him closely from my childhood and it took really long time to draw a picture, which can be considered close to reality. I still find him puzzling and not sure if he feels the same for himself.

He heard my footsteps and turned his head towards me. Slowly, he kept the newspaper aside in a gesture to start a talk.

I have always loved elderly people. I love their company. There is some kind of attraction in elders. It is the same attraction as we feel for children.

I do not find grandpa’s company interesting.

“Where have you been?” he asked to start the conversation, without actually being interested in the answer.

“Went to submit a form for college entrance examination.”

“It must have been very hot out there”

To talk about weather in terms of its extremity and problematic nature is one of his favourite topics. He is always concerned about the climate, whether it is cold or hot. He will always say “Never fight with nature. Better take precautions.”

I could not somehow relate with his views. I always thought that more I fight, more resistant I will become. Though, lately I have stopped revealing my views in front of him. He knows my views and knows that I do not agree with him. Even then there is something inside him (which I have never been able to understand), which makes him say the same lines again and again. And he says them repeatedly in the same style. He expresses his views whenever he gets an audience. I can narrate his complete talk along with him, without missing a word. But he does not like to be reminded that he has already told the same thing before.

“Not much”. I could not find any better words to avoid any discussion on climate. I always try to avoid topics, which I know will result in an argument with him and which will leave both of us with dissatisfaction on each other’s views. Though I am not always successful and for some of these occasions, I accept the blame for accentuating the discussion. I have an urge to speak against what I feel is not right and this urge takes opportunities from grandpa’s words. I sometimes wonder that even a stupid topic like climate can lead us to an argument. But other topics in this category are also equally stupid. Or may be what we talk is stupid. Or may be what we talk for is stupid.

“Sit here” He says so when he has been thinking to talk to me for a few days.

I sat at the corner of the bed. He got up, straightened himself and then got seated against pillow resting on the wall.

“I went to temple today and asked for everybody’s well being” It was start of another topic, which I knew would not end as easily as the previous one.

“I have full faith in God. He will take care of all of us. He is all powerful. Have you not heard about the miracle that happened while the temple was being built?”

I remained silent and it did not matter to him. I tried to remember when was the first time he told this to me and how many times have I heard it.

“What do you do for your morning prayers?”

“Nothing.” I remember telling this to him at different occasions and was wondering if he is asking me again to confirm it or to make me think again or because he actually forgot it.

“You must pray to God everyday. You must remember him, only then he will help you. It is like the commissioner. Only if you keep visiting him, he will remember your face and then will help you in eventuality. You must keep your presence with God”

“I do not need any help.”

“Don’t be arrogant. Everybody needs help and there are so many things which are out of our control and power. There, only God can help you.”

“But I do not want to beg in front of anybody”

“You call it begging? Why? Don’t you ask your father and mother for anything? Is it begging? Why can’t you ask God too?

“What should I ask God for?”

“For wealth, prosperity, peace and education”

“But I have all that already as much as I need.”

“Ask him to keep increasing that.”

“I have ability to increase that.”

“Do not argue with me”

“I am not. I am just telling what I think”

“Don’t try to be too intelligent with me. We have seen this world much better than you and you are trying to tell me that I am wrong. What do you know about the world?”

“I am not trying anything and I don’t think I am intelligent. I have not seen much of world. I am just putting my thought before you. You tell me where I am wrong.”

“You people think that you know everything and dismiss all faiths. But you cannot understand everything. This world is just Maya and there is lot beyond it. You try to reason out everything. Not everything is understood with reason. You need to have faith”

“Faith in what?”

“Faith in God, about his divine power and his ability to transform your life.”

“Does it mean that God helps only those who believe that he is powerful and he leaves others in their pity situation?”

“You have again started arguing.”

“Why do you think I am arguing?”

“Nothing can be done about this generation…..If you do not ask for help, how is he going to help you? And you cannot ask for help if you do not have faith in him.”

“But you told the other day that God is Antaryami and knows everything, even past and future. Why do I need to ask him, if he already knows it? Does he want me to kneel down first and then will grant my wish?”

“So what do you think? He is sitting free to check if you need anything? And you will sit like a stone here and he will come and fulfill all your wishes while you sleep?

“No. I mean to say that if I am working towards a goal and if there is something on which he should help, he need not wait for my plea. He, being the most generous one, can do it even without me asking. And if I do not need help, then I should not go to him for anything. In either case, there is no need to ask for anything.”

“Do you want to understand or you want to teach me lessons on God”

“Ok. Who is this God? How is he so powerful than others? Why would he help me? How he would help me? How would my prayer reach him, while I sit in the temple? If he is there in that stone statute, there are millions of them? Is he in all statues? How can he be in so many statues?”

“You are asking all atheist questions and I will not answer them.”

“Ok. Let us say, I need help. Tell me how by going to temple and making a prayer will help me. I am not able to make sense out of it”

“Why? You put your prayer in front of God and he will see that it is granted. If you do it with full faith, it will be granted. But if you go with all these stupid doubts, you will not be listened.”

“Ok. Let me understand this. I want to get admission to this MBA college. Now, if I ask him for help, will I get?”

“Yes. But with faith and not with your arguments.”

“But let us say I get that help and get admission, will it not be unfair on the other student who deserved the seat and lost it just because I prayed to God. Is God unfair? Or he loves flattery. So whoever comes to him will get the results and others will not, even if they work hard for it?”

“You said go to God as we go to father. But even father will scold me if I ask him for money after he has educated me and made me able to earn. So if God has made us capable of achieving all wealth, education, prosperity and peace, why would he listen to our demands, which we ourselves can fulfill?

“Ok, before you say that I am arguing again, let me ask you this. All these temples and monks say that this world is Maya – illusion. We should concentrate on Dharma and not get involved into worldly things. I assume that this is what God taught and monks are spreading. Now, if God taught us to get detached from worldly things and we go to him and ask for a good job, good wife, profit in business, will he not laugh at us? I guess, he would love if people ask for better ways to know the reality of life and to get rid of illusion. Why would he grant those wishes, which he has taught this world to renounce?”

“Don’t try to be oversmart. We are not saints, we are normal human beings. We need material things for our survival. And we need to move step by step. We cannot be spiritual in a day. If you want to listen to the experienced and elderly, then listen it properly. If you think that you are very smart, then do as you wish.”

“I do not intend to show my smartness, but this may be the way we think about the old teachings, which do not match with reasoning. But why do you get upset with these questions? Why do you think that our attitude is wrong? If I am raising a question or a doubt, you can simply correct me and tell me the right reasoning.”

“This is not the way to speak to elders. You must respect them and the rich knowledge they possess. You should listen to them and follow their advices. This is for your good only.”

“I would love to get any useful knowledge. And I surely respect elders for their rich experience. But does respect mean to follow things blindly, without applying own reasoning and judgement? Does respect means to become a dumb follower? I am here to listen to you and I will do it attentively. But if you will ask me do anything or to follow any advice, I will definitely ask why.”

“If I am raising doubts, which are stupid or baseless, tell me why they are stupid and baseless. But why to ask me to shut up and accept everything you say. If you want me to follow any advice, you also give me good reasoning to support it and resolve my doubts. It is very easy to say ‘Follow whatever I say’. But what I need is your efforts and patience to think about my requirements, my misconceptions and then help me get into the right direction. If you keep getting upset assuming that our attitude is wrong and we are arrogant, how will it help?”

I could feel the uneasiness in my voice and felt that my use of words and sentences needs to tone down. Grandpa now picked up a file from the shelf in an indication to end the discussion. His face had a clear expression, as after every such discussion, saying – “These youngsters think that they have outgrown everybody else. God only knows, how they should be made to understand things. Anyways, life will teach them lessons when time will come.”

He got engrossed into his files. I asked him if he would like to take lunch now. I conveyed the message to mother and came out for a walk. I tried to make sense out of our discussion and gave up immediately. I looked around at houses on both sides of the road and wondered if these also see similar discussions inside. I felt as if the whole city, whole country is echoing with the same arguments, most of them unspoken.

Is there is any better way to reconcile the two thoughts and the two generations?

An Illusion Named God

Everybody has his own belief about God and these come out of different reasons. Thousands of years ago somebody would have discovered the true self within and might have termed it as God. Somebody might have got the similar feeling while he would have looked at the enormity of the universe. Somebody might have witnessed a truly enlightened person and would have termed him as God. These were their own true beliefs, which they ‘felt’. And as it is a very much personal experience, it cannot be replicated, but can only be felt in its originality by every individual.

Coming generations got to know about something called God and they ‘heard’ from different people different explanations. Why some people believe in God and some do not, I think cause for both beliefs is the same. It is like this.

The concept of God is being taught from generations and as the child grows up what he sees around, it becomes deeply engraved. However, what he has learnt is only superficial and has never experienced it. But the continuous teachings, actions and talks around him makes him to believe that what he has learnt is true. As a grown up individual, he knows the concept and he is stuck with it. Though somewhere something within questions it, but he has no answer for it. And he does not dare to answer it, as he is too afraid of letting his deep rooted beliefs to be proved wrong. So he fights for it. He will try to prove everywhere that God exists. He will argue and do all to prove that. What actually he is doing is trying to prove it to himself (and he never succeeds really).

The other extreme implication is like this. Person keeps listening to the concept and something within questions it. He does not find any justified answer to what is being taught. But he is bombarded with the teachings, and society and family force him to believe what is being believed for generations. Now this person explodes on the opposite direction. He becomes against to any such belief which talks about existence of God. He keeps on doing things to prove that God does not exist. But he does it only to prove somebody or something wrong. He never moves to know the truth.

Now both these type of people are simply wasting their valuable energy. They are holding on to a strange concept, which has never been their own (they don’t even know that they have actually adopted it from somebody else) and are trying to prove it right. And what do they gain by proving it right or wrong?

The reality, the truth needs to be realized and experienced within. It is not a principal which can be learnt. But what happens in our society is that the concept of God is taught and every child is stuffed with the knowledge about God. The learning actually proves to be harmful because once you learn something, you either try to justify it, fit it somewhere or stand against it. And this effort takes the consciousness away from the reality lying within. Majority of people are just blindly believing this concept. I am saying blindly because, they learn the concept first and then try to justify its existence by using some reasoning. But it is so dry and superficial and very dangerous as it makes the person prejudiced.

It does not mean that we disprove or ignore the old teachings. We should listen to them without making any judgement on their truth. We should simply understand that somebody is telling us something and we do not know whether it is true or false.

The people who believe in God and people who deny its existence, both are bound by some mental block. There is some intellectual stuff that they want to prove by arguing over something which cannot be argued with people (as it is a personal experience).

Somebody is asking if nature is God, who created nature? It must be God and therefore God exist. Other will ask, if you say somebody must create nature, then somebody must create God also, so who created God? Other would say God has always been there and nobody created it.

Now, let’s just think over it. What do we get out of all this? This is just mental illusion to get satisfaction that what I believe is right. But just probe in within. What you think, you believe, is it really your belief or it is something which has been stuffed into your mind by the society, the family and the people around. Is it something really which you truly believe in?

No belief about God in this society can be termed as right or wrong. But yes, one thing can definitely be said that the beliefs which make the person restricted, which makes him believe that other is wrong, which takes him away from himself, are surely not the right beliefs. The true belief is the one which liberates the person from all limitations, external and internal, which makes him feel respect for the life, which makes him spread the love around and with which he can feel the oneness within.

Just a Thought

Har Karwaan se aage nikalne ka Junoo Tha hamme,
Zindagi kab peechhe nikal gayi pata naa chalaa.

The Difference

What is the difference between 'the way a normal man works' on one hand, and on the other hand...................

a bird sitting high on a tree signing...... or a flower blossoming with the first ray of light......... or a deer taking long strides towards nowhere.................. or waves coming up and getting lost back into the sea...................... or a new born spreading his smile without any reason.......................... or a tree dancing with winds..................... or two feet moving with the rhythm of music unaware of any dancing rules................................... or a butterfly moving from one flower to another................ or a candle shining brightly knowing that it is continuously losing itself.......... or a monk sitting under a tree with a serene smile...........................

Does the difference lies in intent? Is there are difference of intention or that others (excpet man) do not have intent at all. They do things freely without any intent? But is it intent or a nasty desire to get something or to get away from something, which makes things stressed? Because intent is very pure. If you do something with a clear intent, clear goal, it takes you there very smoothly and happily. But what causes all disturbances in humans? It cannot be a pure intent. It has to be a corrupted intent, if at all it is there. What is it that corrupts it. What is it that is not there in others and so their activities are so pure, despite man being considered superior not only in terms of its physical evolution but also spiritually.

It is the NO to REALITY, NO to THE PRESENT that is the root of all problems. Either we are saying no to a future expected situation and so we are in fear or we are saying no to present situation and so we are uneasy, jealous, depressed and so on. We are trying to fake reality. We just want to change the present moment into something more desirable. Yes, we can change. But we can change future, not the present, not something which is already there.

The cure to all uneasiness is to understand and accept the PRESENT as it is, and taking step with 100% will to make the desired difference.

All serenity in the world is not something acquired by practice or learnt from outside, but it has always been there inside. Only it needs to be unveiled from the covers of our masked reality.

To be Frank

"To be frank I want to tell you that you were at mistake".

"I accept that. But what do you mean by 'to be frank'?"

"See I am telling you that you are at mistake. I should tell you that I am being frank and open to you."

"But why do you need to specify that? when you say a truth, it implies you are frank"

"Yes, but it is always better to tell, otherwise you might feel bad and might doubt my intentions"

"Let me understand it. You mean to say that if you tell me a plain simple unpleasant truth, I might feel bad because it might hurt me. Now, to dilute that bad feeling, you want to clarify that you are being frank and your intentions are good. But what I feel is that if you are telling me something in good faith with good intentions,which is not so pleasant to hear, I will know that you are being frank and honest. You need not say that. And, if something is not said with good faith and intention, then the sentence has lost its value and so your telling that you are frank, does not help. So first thing - your telling that you are being frank, does not add any value. Now second point. What is meant by being frank? When you are frank, it means that you express your views honestly without any hesitation and IRRESPECTIVE OF THE TYPE OF REACTION YOU WILL GET FOR IT. Now, you say 'to be frank', so that the other person does not feel bad. It is not that you are concerned about feelings of other person. Rather, you do not want him to get any negative impression about yourself and your intentions. This is your preparation to secure not-so-unpleasant reaction from the other person. So do you think that you have been frank enough with the person? If you had been, you would not have been bothered about negative reaction, you would not have thought about how to make my sentence sound better, you would not have added an explanation of being frank. SO WHEN YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE BEING FRANK, YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT."

Where are we going

They say world still has lot of developing countries. They also boast about countries which are developed. They feel sad about remaining countries which are underdeveloped ones. How do you cross the border to become developed? They have a quick answer. High GDP growth, high per capita income.

What is GDP growth? GDP is the sum of value of all products and services added or provided by a country during the year. If in a year, production is more than the previous year, you have a GDP growth. You need to keep raising this growth. So, every year you need to produce more than the previous year to achieve the higher GDP growth and to bring yourself into the league of developed nations if not in developing nations.

Does it mean that a country with steady population, with reasonable production to satisfy needs of its people needs to increase its production year by year, even if it is satisfied with the present status. Or does it mean that a country like China or India, where the population is growing like anything, there is any ways requirement to produce more and more, and so development is not a choice but compulsion. Or does it mean that a country should produce more irrespective of the purpose for which production is required.

We need an answer - whether production is our goal or we are producing for some objective. Producing for the sake of it is only a blind rush to reach nowhere. It is like chasing something undefined and unidentified. If we are producing for an objective, then what is it?

Let us go into the history of production. Why at all we started production? Lets go back to the initial phases of human civilisation. He was alone and was doing all his work himself. That time he was eating, dressing and surviving. Then he started to feel that things can be done in a better way. So he invented tools and the better ways to live life. He let his creativity come out to the fullest. He did things for his own satisfaction. Production was not a goal but only a channel for his creativity to come out.

Then he outsourced things. So potter become specialised and so the farmer and the cook. They could have more time for their own areas of interest. They need not do things which they were not interested in and which other could do better. So the whole exercise started with an objective to create a channel for creativity and to make every body's life easy. It was intended to help everybody to attain their own goals in better way.

And now, after a long journey of civilization, where do we find ourselves? Are we far ahead in the direction, where our ancestors started. Or have we got drowned in the activity, as we lost track of our ultimate aim? How many of us are following our dreams? How many of us don't think of coming out of this rat race one day? How many are content with life? Irony is that today also man is striving to fulfil his basic needs. It is so unfortunate that after thousands of years after the kick start of development, we are still struggling. And it is not just the struggle for food and shelter. It is struggle to find an outlet for the creative pursuit within us. It is struggle to recognise the voice that keep calling us for the higher goal. It is the struggle of moving nowhere with a superficial goal.

Today's man is struggling much more to earn his living than a nomadic of past. He carries very high tension all times. He is unhappy as he is not able to get what he wants (He does not know what he really wants). There are frustration levels. Reason is very simple. If you run for something of which you cannot see an end, you will just be running blindly, without knowing your destination. You will not know which path to follow, when to stop, when to relax, when to hurry up (not rush). You will be always be rushing as you would always be afraid that you wont have much time left to reach there, so better to be fast.

Today we are all just following this blind cycle, without knowing in which direction, if at all, it is taking us. We all go to work, eat, have some fun, sleep. That is how we are spending each day of our life. Then we take big mundane steps also. We study, get jobs, get married, have children, get them married and start the same cycle again.

But for what? Is there any purpose of all this drama. Or it is just a routine set up for us to follow. We in our childhood had so many dreams. We built so many castles. And as we grew this society put end to them one by one. It said you cannot be happy without sacrifice. It said you have to strive hard to succeed in this world. It said there is tough competition everywhere.

Is it all true, and above all, is it worth a concern. Actually speaking all these useless thoughts come to men only when his purpose is not clear. Every human being has a basic nature of rising up, to act in best manner, reach a goal which his heart calls for. His inner urge keeps getting suppressed with the traditions, pity thinking and demotivating messages. He is not able to follow his inner urge and then this urge tries to find ways to come out. This is demonstrated in different ways. It can be constructive as well as destructive. But the urge comes out.

Give man a definite goal and he will achieve it even if it is highly difficult. Ask him to go 'somewhere' without clear cut objective and he will exhaust and frustrate himself without achieving anything. He will be moving round and round. He will do something and come back. He will try to satisfy his urge by doing all things he can find around, but will always be thirsty. Then he will find interest in getting more money, more fame. He will be attracted to sex. He will drink, smoke and will explore all possible ways.

Only thing that he will not do is to stop for a while, sit and go within, where the real answer lies. A simple question to self can solve all his quests. If he follows what his heart says, then he will not have to struggle for a moment. At the same time he will achieve all other things as bonus. But the biggest thing he will achieve will be the inner contentment, a feel of rising higher, an inner peace, a sense of achievement, a sense of being elated, a joy of being free from all barriers, joy of freedom, as well as being disciplined; strength of inner control as well as lightness.

All this is possible only when we discover our true purpose and take actions towards that direction.

Now lets just put the same phenomena to the concept of development. Is our definition or direction of development well defined or we are just rushing somewhere. Is it the real objective that we want to achieve?

Isn't it that we would be happier producing a bit less but we live a peaceful life? Is it not better to work for making people happy rather than making them crave for more facilities? Is it not better to define our own vision and mission first than we do it for a company? Is it not better to keep people's happiness as the first goal rather than maximising (any goals, limits???) wealth?Lets ask these questions to ourselves.

Lets define our own goals clearly. Individual goals will then merge into society goals, into national goals and into the universal goals. Then whatever we shall do, it will be in synergy, in a unified direction. It will have a purpose. It will have a destination. It will not be a blind race or rush. It will be smooth, confident and joyful ride to a better world. Then each step of human race will be towards real growth. There will be growth in happiness, in peace, in harmony, in creativity, in arts, needless to say in wealth, resources and quality of life.

That is the way to live life, that is the way to develop. LET US GROW, LET US RISE, LET US DEVELOP.

Good Habit - Bad Habit

They say, you should inculcate good habits in your routine and avoid bad habits. The objective intended behind this teaching may be that person should take right actions in life. But can you define right and wrong universally and for all times? is it not situation and time specific? Does it not mean that the decision needs to be taken considering the situation at the moment and not based on norms laid down by previous experiences. Yes, previous experiences helps. They act as guide in situations where we can't find a way. But they can't be decisive. The decision has to be taken by the person. And while taking decision, he can take assistance of past experiences, without affecting his decision making power; without being prejudiced by the fact that in past the experience had been in one direction.

Does it not mean that the person needs to be AWAKE and ALERT for the situation to take a decision. Now lets consider, what is habit (good or bad irrespective). Habit is a situation or phenomena, where person starts responding in same or similar way for similar situations for a number of instances and then the response become almost automated. Thus person's response is triggered by just even the hint of the situation.

Now, if we consider the state of mind with specific reference to the habit, existence of habit means that the person is not awake. Automated responses come only when person's system (mind body) is working without being noticed by HIM. Thus person is responding based on his previous experiences and not awake in the present moment.

Any habit is like blood pressure. High BP or bad habit is more dangerous than low BP or good habit. But basically, habits are dangerous. And habits have further adverse effect as one habit makes you to take unconscious action and the same thing starts repeating in other situations also. It is like virus.

Our effort should be not to inculcate any habit and to remove existing habits if there are any. now what does it mean. It is not a weed, which can be removed just like that. What is required is to understand the whole programming. It is important to know the thought process that goes in between the stimulus and the response. If we are able to see that whole process, we shall not jump on response just by the trigger, rather, we shall be able to redirect our thoughts as per the situation at the moments.

Now, how can we start. We can start with small things. We all are a bunch of habits. Just see, what we do from morning till we sleep. How many things, we remember doing consciously. Do we know how did we brush teeth, or shaved or took bath.

All out actions are habituated. Same actions are being repeated number of times. Same patterns are created. Mind becomes comfortable with the pattern and so we become more and more unconscious about our actions.

These patterns need to broken. So let's take new actions. Let's do new things, more challenging things. Let's do things in more conscious way. How can we do things in more conscious way - by doing the same thing in different manner. For example, use left hand for brushing teeth, if you have been using right. Use stairs for some of the floors at least, if you have been using lift.

Whenever, you feel that life is going in routine, change something. It can be anything and may be as small as ironing your clothes, even when it can be got done outside.

It is very important to break habit patterns. If habits start governing life (as it does in most people's life and for great part of life for most of us), it should be taken as a warning for internal cancer. It is killing us. What is the difference between a dead and alive body. Dead body cannot do anything at its own, while alive body can. Now, if we are being governed by others (and our programming system of habits comes under 'others'), we are dead. We have life only when we do what we want to do. So let's break all habits and explore new world. Lets bring LIFE and in our lives.

The First Wedding Ceremony

There was a man long long ago. Story is about times when human race started to settle down at a place and did not know anything about relationships, marriages, etc. The man was friendly and started making friends in close vicinity. Some were close friends, some were acquaintances and among them he could find his soul mate. It was a new and wonderful experience, getting a feeling of completeness and knowing the void that existed before. Those were the moments of joy and celebrations. And when the joy became overwhelming, he wanted to share it. He wanted to tell everybody how great he feels. He wanted to see smiling and satisfied faces of people who knew him and care about him. He wanted that the joy pouring out from his heart should be shared with others.

So he talked to his better half and they decided that they will announce the decision of living together, in presence of those few well wishers. They sat and discussed about whom to involve in this get-together. They found that their living place is too small to accommodate so many people. So they decided to keep the meeting in the nearby field. They decided that evening time would be better as days are very hot. It came to their mind that people will have to walk two hours to the field and then again go back the same distance. It would be too late for them to prepare dinner after they return. So it was decided that they will arrange for some food at field itself. They also thought that over meals they can have good chat and will enjoy more.

Both of them divided the people to be informed among themselves and invited them personally. Suddenly it occurred to the man that one of his well wishers has gone towards the sea and may not be back immediately. He wanted to inform him, so that he can also join them. The girl suggested that the boy in the neighbourhood knows the way and he can go and give the message. But they also knew that the boy is too forgetful to give the complete message. They knew the wise well wisher is very clever. They took a flat stone and drew the pictures to symbolise the event and asked boy to give it to the wise man.

A day before the event, the couple went to the field. It was too dirty. They thought it would be great if the people feel nice about the place. So the man cleared the place and cleaned it. Girl brought some leaves and flowers and scattered them here and there. It looked nice.

Here in their neighbourhood, people talked to each other about it. They all were pleased about the couple's decision. They had felt that their friendship had made the place lively and were happy to imagine the couple being together all the time. The friend of girl felt so joyous that she spent the whole day making and decorating a beautiful pot, in which couple will have their first meal together. Eldest lady living next to the boy was making healthy tonic out of the leaves her grandson just brought after two hours of search. Young kids, who looked up to the man for his strength, brought flowers and made beautiful bunches. And then the hysteria spread in the whole area. Everybody was making or bringing something for the couple. Yes it was a grand and joyous occasion.

The day has arrived. Sun rose from East as usual, but looks much brighter. The Blue colour of sky has more shine and trees around seem to be swaying in joy. And not only the couple was wondering at this, but all the invitees also had the similar feeling.

Everybody has reached the place and stood in circle. Couple waited for everybody to come, standing in the middle. Then the man announced the decision and crowd cheered. He winked and asked girl if she agrees with the decision. Girl half smiling and half blushing nodded her head with a silent yes. The crowd cheered again.

They all clapped. Children started moving with the rhythm of claps. Elders watched them . Some more people joined in the dance and people cheered them. Within minutes, everybody was dancing. They forgot all their worries about next days arrangement of food. They forgot that they had a painful winter some days back. They forgot that they had lost their dear ones recently. They were free and dancing.

They were surprised when couple took them to a big container full of fruits and vegetables. They were hungry and felt gratitude to the couple. They all sat together and enjoyed the meal.

Couple could not believe that people love them so much. It was not those things people brought, but their eyes, which made them realise this. They accepted each of the gift with great love and gratitude, as a symbol to remember the love of people.

The couple had a great start of their new life. The evening had made the occasion of grand significance. Yes, this decision for their lives was significant and it deserved this evening and this celebration. Anything lesser would not match the glory of their decision.

The night grew darker and today the stars had extra brightness and moon was competing sun. Yes, they lived happily forever.

The story does not end here. The story multiplies, the event multiplies. People start feeling the need and importance of life partner. More people start living with their soul mates. The event becomes more frequent. Then it becomes and essential part of every body's life. What started with a man and a girl, percolates down to each and every individual, which is called marriage today.

Almost all individuals marry today, may be for different reasons. Every couple invites their well wishers. The flat stone turned into rough paper, then to designer paper, moved to cyber space and has become more visually attractive. For each marriage, there is celebration of such grandeur, that the first couple would have never dreamt of. What started as clapping together and moving in rhythm, has now grown into professional dance preparations. Raw fruits and vegetables have been replaced by endless list of delicacies. Gifts have been transformed from simple leaves, herbs and flowers to cash envelops and brightly wrapped gift items.

But, how many couples today would be as fortunate as that first couple, who got married with simplest of arrangements.

How many couples are fortunate to have the right reason to marry, who do not go for marriage as a social custom, who marry because they feel that it is the best thing to do for their lives. How many couples invite people to share their happiness and not because of social obligation. How many invitations carry warmth of urge to share the joy, beneath costly printing and design. Do the beautiful letters convey the same meaning as the rough drawing on flat stone.

How many people go to marriage functions because they feel great about the occasion, and not to show their faces. How many people feel great to be part of event and do not come for 'Dinner Party'. How many gifts come as outcome of joy within the heart of people and not as a part of custom and social obligation.

How many family members get to enjoy those moments and see the brightness in that day. Or the event passes under the tension of 'making good arrangements' and attention never goes to the feelings, as the mind cannot think beyond series of customs, formalities and rituals.

How many dinners carry sweetness of love and care for guests and not the dryness of a custom being followed over generations. Does the dances and professional arrangements go anywhere near to the natural joyous movements of body, which carries no hesitation or worry about what others will think. Can costly colourful perfumed dresses make the atmosphere as pleasant as a body in old costume spreading fragrance of joy. Does the grand decoration carries a feeling of making others feel good or is just another effort to reinforce the social status.

We have developed better ways to convey the messages and feelings, but it seems that those means and ways have become so important that the underlying essence is totally buried under the weight of customs, traditions, rituals and formalities. That is why the marriage functions are becoming burden for families and formalities for guests. Their importance is lost and that is why their duration is being reduced to minimum possible extent. What used to be fifteen days celebrations some years back is now shrinking to a day event.

How many couples get the feeling that the occasion received the deserved significance from the invited guests. How many gifts touched their hearts. For how many couples, the evening is reflection of a great life ahead and not of a tiring session. For how many young siblings, it does not bring a feeling that court marriages are better.

It is still not late. We still carry the same feelings somewhere inside. Only need is to bring them out. There is need to understand and appreciate the basic theme behind all these customs and traditions. Once the underlying feeling becomes the significant driver of our actions, the outward symbols will automatically start shining. The gift wraps will become heart touching. Food delicacies will reach further down to heart from the palette. Decorations will add to the outpouring joy.

Can we wake up now and bring life to the mechanised system ruled by traditions and rituals? Shall we dare to question the customs and beliefs and go beyond the symbolic representation of feelings. Shall we make the internal joy so overpowering that while gifts exchange hands, feelings touch the hearts. Can we live the Real Grand Life of Love, Care and Joy again, removing the unwanted masks of rituals. YES, WE CAN and WE SHALL.