There was a man long long ago. Story is about times when human race started to settle down at a place and did not know anything about relationships, marriages, etc. The man was friendly and started making friends in close vicinity. Some were close friends, some were acquaintances and among them he could find his soul mate. It was a new and wonderful experience, getting a feeling of completeness and knowing the void that existed before. Those were the moments of joy and celebrations. And when the joy became overwhelming, he wanted to share it. He wanted to tell everybody how great he feels. He wanted to see smiling and satisfied faces of people who knew him and care about him. He wanted that the joy pouring out from his heart should be shared with others.
So he talked to his better half and they decided that they will announce the decision of living together, in presence of those few well wishers. They sat and discussed about whom to involve in this get-together. They found that their living place is too small to accommodate so many people. So they decided to keep the meeting in the nearby field. They decided that evening time would be better as days are very hot. It came to their mind that people will have to walk two hours to the field and then again go back the same distance. It would be too late for them to prepare dinner after they return. So it was decided that they will arrange for some food at field itself. They also thought that over meals they can have good chat and will enjoy more.
Both of them divided the people to be informed among themselves and invited them personally. Suddenly it occurred to the man that one of his well wishers has gone towards the sea and may not be back immediately. He wanted to inform him, so that he can also join them. The girl suggested that the boy in the neighbourhood knows the way and he can go and give the message. But they also knew that the boy is too forgetful to give the complete message. They knew the wise well wisher is very clever. They took a flat stone and drew the pictures to symbolise the event and asked boy to give it to the wise man.
A day before the event, the couple went to the field. It was too dirty. They thought it would be great if the people feel nice about the place. So the man cleared the place and cleaned it. Girl brought some leaves and flowers and scattered them here and there. It looked nice.
Here in their neighbourhood, people talked to each other about it. They all were pleased about the couple's decision. They had felt that their friendship had made the place lively and were happy to imagine the couple being together all the time. The friend of girl felt so joyous that she spent the whole day making and decorating a beautiful pot, in which couple will have their first meal together. Eldest lady living next to the boy was making healthy tonic out of the leaves her grandson just brought after two hours of search. Young kids, who looked up to the man for his strength, brought flowers and made beautiful bunches. And then the hysteria spread in the whole area. Everybody was making or bringing something for the couple. Yes it was a grand and joyous occasion.
The day has arrived. Sun rose from East as usual, but looks much brighter. The Blue colour of sky has more shine and trees around seem to be swaying in joy. And not only the couple was wondering at this, but all the invitees also had the similar feeling.
Everybody has reached the place and stood in circle. Couple waited for everybody to come, standing in the middle. Then the man announced the decision and crowd cheered. He winked and asked girl if she agrees with the decision. Girl half smiling and half blushing nodded her head with a silent yes. The crowd cheered again.
They all clapped. Children started moving with the rhythm of claps. Elders watched them . Some more people joined in the dance and people cheered them. Within minutes, everybody was dancing. They forgot all their worries about next days arrangement of food. They forgot that they had a painful winter some days back. They forgot that they had lost their dear ones recently. They were free and dancing.
They were surprised when couple took them to a big container full of fruits and vegetables. They were hungry and felt gratitude to the couple. They all sat together and enjoyed the meal.
Couple could not believe that people love them so much. It was not those things people brought, but their eyes, which made them realise this. They accepted each of the gift with great love and gratitude, as a symbol to remember the love of people.
The couple had a great start of their new life. The evening had made the occasion of grand significance. Yes, this decision for their lives was significant and it deserved this evening and this celebration. Anything lesser would not match the glory of their decision.
The night grew darker and today the stars had extra brightness and moon was competing sun. Yes, they lived happily forever.
The story does not end here. The story multiplies, the event multiplies. People start feeling the need and importance of life partner. More people start living with their soul mates. The event becomes more frequent. Then it becomes and essential part of every body's life. What started with a man and a girl, percolates down to each and every individual, which is called marriage today.
Almost all individuals marry today, may be for different reasons. Every couple invites their well wishers. The flat stone turned into rough paper, then to designer paper, moved to cyber space and has become more visually attractive. For each marriage, there is celebration of such grandeur, that the first couple would have never dreamt of. What started as clapping together and moving in rhythm, has now grown into professional dance preparations. Raw fruits and vegetables have been replaced by endless list of delicacies. Gifts have been transformed from simple leaves, herbs and flowers to cash envelops and brightly wrapped gift items.
But, how many couples today would be as fortunate as that first couple, who got married with simplest of arrangements.
How many couples are fortunate to have the right reason to marry, who do not go for marriage as a social custom, who marry because they feel that it is the best thing to do for their lives. How many couples invite people to share their happiness and not because of social obligation. How many invitations carry warmth of urge to share the joy, beneath costly printing and design. Do the beautiful letters convey the same meaning as the rough drawing on flat stone.
How many people go to marriage functions because they feel great about the occasion, and not to show their faces. How many people feel great to be part of event and do not come for 'Dinner Party'. How many gifts come as outcome of joy within the heart of people and not as a part of custom and social obligation.
How many family members get to enjoy those moments and see the brightness in that day. Or the event passes under the tension of 'making good arrangements' and attention never goes to the feelings, as the mind cannot think beyond series of customs, formalities and rituals.
How many dinners carry sweetness of love and care for guests and not the dryness of a custom being followed over generations. Does the dances and professional arrangements go anywhere near to the natural joyous movements of body, which carries no hesitation or worry about what others will think. Can costly colourful perfumed dresses make the atmosphere as pleasant as a body in old costume spreading fragrance of joy. Does the grand decoration carries a feeling of making others feel good or is just another effort to reinforce the social status.
We have developed better ways to convey the messages and feelings, but it seems that those means and ways have become so important that the underlying essence is totally buried under the weight of customs, traditions, rituals and formalities. That is why the marriage functions are becoming burden for families and formalities for guests. Their importance is lost and that is why their duration is being reduced to minimum possible extent. What used to be fifteen days celebrations some years back is now shrinking to a day event.
How many couples get the feeling that the occasion received the deserved significance from the invited guests. How many gifts touched their hearts. For how many couples, the evening is reflection of a great life ahead and not of a tiring session. For how many young siblings, it does not bring a feeling that court marriages are better.
It is still not late. We still carry the same feelings somewhere inside. Only need is to bring them out. There is need to understand and appreciate the basic theme behind all these customs and traditions. Once the underlying feeling becomes the significant driver of our actions, the outward symbols will automatically start shining. The gift wraps will become heart touching. Food delicacies will reach further down to heart from the palette. Decorations will add to the outpouring joy.
Can we wake up now and bring life to the mechanised system ruled by traditions and rituals? Shall we dare to question the customs and beliefs and go beyond the symbolic representation of feelings. Shall we make the internal joy so overpowering that while gifts exchange hands, feelings touch the hearts. Can we live the Real Grand Life of Love, Care and Joy again, removing the unwanted masks of rituals. YES, WE CAN and WE SHALL.
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