Ideal or Goon

We all come across some people who become our ideal. These are the people, we idolize, love and respect. We think about them and feel inspired and appreciative. We learn and imbibe their qualities. We find ways to meet them and experience their motivating presence.

We all come across people, who become menace to our lives (like a local goon). These are the people we are generally afraid of. We make sure that they do not get upset with us. We may even have to speak niceties in front of them, to avoid their anger. We also offer them some present, to keep them in neutral mode. Some people offer them ‘price’ to get few things done.

Let’s recollect our behavior with God and reflect, what do we treat Him as?

Faith Vs. Reason

"There are few things which you have to believe, without asking for reasons." There was clear hint of annoyance in his voice. Mr. Tripathi is our neighbour and this was the first time, we had spoken beyond formal greetings. He is a firm believer in the divine power and I made a mistake of asking some clarifications.

Actually, he started it. "You will always have limited success and happiness unless you believe in HIM" he had said.  

I could not understand. "Believe in WHOM?"

"The Divine. You can call him God, Energy, Nature or whatever."

"What should I believe?

Now he got perplexed. "What are you asking?

"I am asking what should I believe. I guess you are asking me to believe three things - One, there is some divine power over and above us. Second, it has power to help us in life. Third, if I believe in it and pray, it will grant me the wishes or protect me from evil things. Are you saying that?"

"aaaammm......yes. So what? What's the problem? Is it not good for you? Why can't you believe? Have faith and your life will be much better."

"But how can I just start having believe or faith? It is not a piece of bread, which I can lift, put into mouth and swallow. I need some basis to believe in something."

"Now, this is the problem with your generation. You want reason for everything. But remember, there are so many things, which science has not been able to explain. Tell me, why they have not been able to make life in laboratories?"

"If science has not understood few - or may be lot of - things, is it right to assign all those things to some divine power? Few centuries ago, lightening was considered to be the anger of divine. Will you believe in such thing now?

"You people just know to argue, but you will not understand what I am saying. Ok, tell me why you do not believe in God?"

"I did not say, I do not believe in God."

"You are such an impossible person. Just now you had been arguing like mad, and now you are saying, you believe in God"

"Ok, let me clarify. I am not saying I believe in God. I am also not saying I do not believe in God. I am just saying 'I do not know'. I do not have proofs either way. I do not need proofs either way. So I can't say anything definitely"

"Then you will live your life in limbo? You will not have any firm stand? You will keep moving like pendulum from one side to other? What are you saying? You must have the clarity."

"I am not in limbo. I am just open. And it does not make any difference to me, if there is divine power or not. I will be same in any case. So why should I bother?" "And even if I want to know, I will not take a stand just because I have to. Will you take a stand saying that there are only 9 planets? What if scientists discover more? What will happen to your belief?"

"Forget all this. I do not know all your logical tricks. What I know is belief is much beyond and much powerful than your reasons. Only when you drop your reasons, then the belief will rise"

"If reason is dropped, then what will be the difference between 'Belief' and 'Blind Faith'?"

"That's different" Blind faith is not same as belief."

"Ok, so what is the difference between Belief and Blind Faith?"

"I will tell you some other time. You have confused me completely with you rubbish"

"The difference is 'Reason'. Wherever there is no reason, it is blind faith."

"Ok. So tell me why you need to believe, if you have all reasons? Do you understand me? If something is proved, it is proved - and you do not need any belief. So, as per you, there is no place for belief. Am I correct?"

"Let me explain this. Let us assume that I am planning to start my own business. I know that this is the best thing to do, because my passion and strength lies in it. But, then I am told - economy is bad, you need experience, you need lot of money, you will not get partner, you will probably fail, how will you repay the loan, think about your family - and so on."

"In this situation, I need to keep alive the spark of belief in my decision. Not just because, I believe in it blindly. But because I have a bigger reason to go for it, which others are not able to see." 

"The problem with such reasons is that they are sometimes difficult to explain and express. So, externally people think that person has acted on a belief without reason. Oprah Winfrey was fired from TV channel, saying that she is not fit for TV. She kept the belief in her abilities and became legendary TV show host. The reasoning she has about herself was not blind, it was just difficult to explain. She was required to take extra efforts to believe in it, because if not nurtured constantly, beliefs of others may overpower it."

"This also applies to somebody who has genuinely experienced (may be briefly) divinity around. He / she may find it difficult to explain it, but the experience is good enough reason to believe in it. However, if somebody says he / she believes in God, without any experience, it is nothing but blind faith. It does not matter whether it is truth or not, but the belief without reason is always blind faith. Belief may be beyond generally accepted logic, but it cannot be beyond reason."

Chhapaak

“Can I finish billing” She asked. No, it did not sound like asking. It was a sweet voice but with a tinge of irritation. The girl looked beautiful and was wearing a nice yellow dress. She was on the billing counter and was waiting for change to come from the boy in mall’s uniform. The boy was counting the Sodexo meal passes and cash she had given, when it happened. The man behind her looked a bit impatient.

Actually, I was standing in the queue after the girl in yellow dress, with my trolley of grocery. The man showed me his single item and gestured if he can finish first. I was in no hurry and I smiled him towards the front. He took out a bundle of ten rupee notes and waited for his turn. He seemed to be in a state of perpetual impatience. The tray on the side, where stuff to be billed is placed, was empty, as girl’s grocery was already billed and put into plastic bags. The man put his large dettol bottle on the tray. There was no movement, but I felt something moved inside the girl. Ten seconds later the man started tapping his bundle of note on the tray. It was then, the girl spoke. She turned back for just three seconds, looked at the person and said it in a way, which is difficult to categorise. It was not harsh or impolite but definitely expressed her loathing for something. After saying this, she turned back to face the boy from mall, but I could sense the turbulence within her.

On his part, the man did not seem to understand much. I think, he was wondering why this girl from some high society is asking him about her tasks. Or he was too afraid to even think about what she was asking and why at all. He just stopped doing whatever he was doing and stood numb. He did not look hurt or embarrassed, but he had a look of a child who did not understand why father scolded him. Only thing he understood was that he did something wrong and the other had complete right to scold him.

The girl had her back towards us and so we could not see her face and reactions. But her face and body suddenly became more rigid. She had her eyes fixed on her remaining sodexo passes, as if, if she looked elsewhere she will be caught. Caught for what? She did not utter a word after that. The boy handed over the change to her and she collected her bags full of two weeks ration. By the time, she opened the door of her car, the man had finished his billing and was moving towards exit door. Within a minute, both were out of sight.

Respect for Language

Sentiment is a big word. No law, no order, no constitution can be override a sentiment attached to some belief or region, or language. Recent controversy in Maharashtra on Jaya Bachchan’s statement is a stark example. 

Jaya Bachchan was reported to have said - “I am from Uttar Pradesh and so will speak Hindi”. As per Raj Thackeray, this amounts to disrespect for Marathi. His supporters torn off the posters of Bachchans’ movies and Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) decided to boycott their movies. 

Hue and cry raised on Jaya Bachchan’s statement was completely beyond any logical understanding. At the first place, if one does not know the local language, he himself will face problems. He/she will face difficulties in day to day communication (maid, shops, conveyance, etc). Knowing the local language is always a plus, as one can correlate with people in a better way. But ultimately advantage or disadvantage of speaking or not speaking a language is for the person. It cannot be other way round. Language cannot be at disadvantage by somebody not speaking it. 

Marathi (or any other language) as a language is great in itself, and does not need any endorsement for whether it is respectable or not. If somebody does not speak Marathi, the language is far too great to be affected by it. If Marathi could speak, it would have said to Jaya Bachchan – “Ok, don’t speak me, it doesn’t matter. But if you speak, it would be nice and I will give you my affection.” 

Then, what is the reason for a fraction of people feeling insulted. Let us consider the ways, in which somebody can insult a language. A person may criticize the language based on its words or grammar or vocabulary, or usage of words or sentence formation. A creative criticism should be welcomed to enrich the language. 

Somebody may make a superfluous mockery about the language or its contents. There are two ways to face this mockery. If it is intended for fun, it can be enjoyed by all in good spirits. If it is intended to insult the language, the statement can be countered by giving factual information and inviting a debate on the matter. Vandalism, destruction, boycott only prove that one has lost ability to think rationally. Nobody can be stopped from saying or doing anything, neither can be compelled to say or do anything, except if it can result into real and grave threat. 

In Jaya Bachchan’s case, where is the threat? By whom, and to whom? Is this threat real or just an illusion in mind? She did not say a single word about Marathi, far from anything against it. She did not say anything, which would lower the respect of other people for Marathi. She did not mock at the language. Then what is the problem? 

The problem is Raj Thackeray and company themselves do not have any respect for the language. They are dependent on others for respect of Marathi. If a person from Delhi and UP speaks Marathi, they will feel proud, if they don’t, they will be disappointed. They do not have any respect for the language and want to derive it out of others. And they are not much different. We all do the same thing at national level. Whenever foreigners talks about yoga or speaks a couple of Hindi words, we jump with so called proud. Are we waiting for others to approve our languages or we ourselves will do something about it?

Language is not respected by forcing others to use it. A language is respected when rich work is performed in it, classic literature is created, heart winning movies are made, great theatrical performances are shown, its vocabulary is enriched or when its public usage is facilitated (not compelled). When Devaki Nandan Khatri wrote ‘Chandrakanta’, people learnt Hindi specially to read it. Why doesn’t Shiv Sena or MNS take up something like this? Why don’t they encourage great works to be done in Marathi? No, they will not do that for two reasons. First, threatening people, vandalizing shops and tearing posters is much easier than doing something creative like that. Second, they will not get so much political publicity in doing creative stuff, as they get in raising these unproductive controversies. 

And if anybody thinks that by compelling people to use or speak a language, he is respecting it, he would better think again. You compel a child to go to temple and he will make sure that he never ever passes through the temple. You compel him to give respect to you, and he will never listen to you. Human beings are free spirits by nature and more you force them, more they will resist. If you want respect for language, develop the language in a way that people start using it automatically. Shiv Sena and MNS may compel people to utter a few Marathi words or to put signboards in Marathi, but they will not create a place for Marathi language in people’s heart. This compulsion can never result into deep respect for language, rather it will get a bad name because of these people. 

And while this self appointed cultural police claims to protect the respect for Marathi language, they crumble the respect of India as a united nation, by bringing division based on language and region. They insult constitution, which allows each citizen freedom to express freely, irrespective of language. They insult the integrity of nation by restricting free movement across states. And they insult their own region and language by indulging in such activities and spreading a bad name for the entire state and community. 

And, finally if they aim at gaining some political ground by using these cheap tactics, they better get their notions corrected. Just look around for comments on these activities and they will find that most of the Marathi speaking population is against their unreasonable actions.

DHARMA

“Do something for your Atma. All these things will stay here, only your Karma will go with you. Do something for Dharma” I was coming out of a temple and one of the elderly ladies (quite known in the religious circle) was telling this. I have heard the same stuff number of times and more it is said, more superficial and meaningless it sounds.

It is Paryushan now and everywhere there are talks about Dharma. Suddenly everybody has become Dharmic. I hear people talking about Tapasya and their way of talking reflects that it is something really great. People are fasting (ranging from half day to a month) and everybody is supposed to believe that they are doing something great. After all, they are ‘not eating’. It is so difficult to be hungry, because you may die out of hunger. And, your senses are not so strong enough to let you remain hungry. It is a victory over senses.

Then they talk about remembering by heart all the processes and verses. I have realized that measurement of how much spiritual a child is, lies in his ability to mug up the Chinese-Japanese sounding words without understanding them and his parents’ ability to persuade him to do that.

There are people taking long trips to Teerth. Many of them are ‘known’ to have taken those trips every year (or even every month). And there are people who do everyday Pooja or go to temple everyday. Then there is elite class, which can boast of donating. Their names can be seen on every nook and corner of the temples and dharmashalas.. These look like the mini version of corporate hoardings on the cricket ground or in a musical concert.

And I only end up feeling surprised and confused and sometimes averse. Initially when people spoke to me about these so called ‘Dharmic’ activities, it was ‘so what’ at first and now it is ‘bullshit’. I might sound too harsh on this, but the way things are, you can’t help feeling frustrated. It may be bad not to follow Dharma. But it is foolish and disastrous to follow something for the sake of and in the illusion of Dharma. And this may be fine if we do it only to show others. The real danger is when we also start believing that this is spirituality. We deceive ourselves, lie to ourselves and then we say we are Dharmic. What a paradox!!

Another day, we friends were discussing and agreed that recent times has seen rise in religious activities. It was quite surprising, because you do not find any symptom of spirituality around. The pace at which mistrust, hatred, impatience and violence at all levels are increasing and taking newer shapes every day, people cannot be said to have become more spiritual. But everywhere you find people performing activities related to ‘God and Dharma’. Now the question arises - why these activities are not leading to Dharma or spirituality; why these do not generate good (if not great) human beings? Is performing these rituals giving people, what they really want? Is there any flaw in people’s thinking and beliefs? What is the parameter to see if things are going in the right direction?

Let us start from the beginning. Why at all there should be any drama of religion and god like this? What difference does it make if there is no religious activity? What if people never knew that there is any god or dharma. How the world would have been different?

I believe that it would have made a huge difference. Human beings (I am not sure about other living beings) can live and act at their ‘ego’ level or at ‘self’ level. Generally they keep swinging between the two and mostly inclined towards the first. In extreme situations they act totally at ego level. It is Dharma only, which is keeping the ‘self’ alive. Dharma, left in whatever form, is the only reason for things not going totally chaotic. Once this remaining Dharma is lost, the world will collapse. As we move away from ‘self’, all complications like ego, hatred and violence arise. If one is based in self, peace and harmony will automatically start showering.

Now what is the relation between living at ‘self’ level and Dharma. Dharma is defined as the basic nature of any person or object. To know and to reach the basic nature, that is, to reach the self is Dharma. Everybody can have a unique way to reach there and we all should strive to find that way. We are all different, so paths are also different.

It may happen that somebody else’s path appeals to us. We find that the other has gained something when he walked on a particular path and it feels like we can also gain something. So we decide to give it a try and when we gain from it, we feel overjoyed. We feel so thankful to the person that he seems like everything to us. We want to thank him, honour him, worship him. We give him flowers, we touch his feet and just try to thank him for what he did to us unintentionally.

It is surprising that today people are doing all this without feeling thankful and overjoyed. And how can they be thankful or overjoyed if they have not gained anything. And if they have not got anything, why are they doing all this drama? Have we not skipped a very important step before doing all the religious activities – to follow a path somebody walked? Only then worshipping has some meaning.

Even if we feel that something will come to us later and so we feel thankful today, are we sure that the path used by Mahaveer or by Jesus or by Buddha is the one for us? Just because we are born into a particular family or society or country, can we take it for granted, without using our own understanding? Ok, let us assume that you are a Jain and Mahaveer’s path is best for you. Then what are you doing here in temple praising him? He will be best honoured if you follow the path he showed. All the great souls will even be more honoured if you search for your own path. This is what they did.

Mahaveer created his own path. He wanted to go in search of truth, but his mother said no. He stayed back. That was his path of non-violence, by not hurting others even by saying no. When everybody agreed, he left home and moved to forests. At one point, he did not feel the need of clothes, so he did not bother to have any. He roamed in jungles and did not feel like eating much, so he did not eat.

He used hunger as a means and saw the effect of hunger on his body. How it reacts? How it craves for food? He remained neutral looking at the bodily activities impartially, while the old karmas kept rising in the form of emotions, pain, irritation, uneasiness and so on. He kept watching. He gradually started realizing the whole pattern. He could see the clouds disappearing gradually and light coming. As the karmas kept dissolving, he progressed to reach to the real self.

He found that when he is hungry, the karma comes out easily and more visibly and thus can be dissolved more effectively. He realized that as he dissolved karma, he became more clear about the truth. He knew himself better and could understand the life around more clearly. He was not burdened with unnecessary thoughts and preconceived notions. He was free from thoughts. He was in the moment. He could really enjoy that moment. There was no karma element, driving him into sad situations, by coming out in the form of emotions like anger, jealousy or fear.

He realized that fear is possible only if we cling to something. It is not the fear of losing something, but the exaggerated reaction of ours which is the problem. It is good to have sound health, but an addiction to talk on health and worrying about it can drive you and others crazy. It is good to know that snake can bite you and so be careful while it is around. But it is hysterical to run away from a rope, imagining it to be snake. It is the fear, the preconceived notions, karma elements, which generate that imagination.

When fear arises, it is better to be afraid than to suppress it by trying to prove that I am not afraid. The best way is to watch the fear. It gradually dissolves and what remains is only the fact. Ok this is snake, so what should I do? Should I run away or kill it or pray before it or put some other food items for it. You can think rightly only if you are free of karma. When there are no clouds of karma on you, then only the ‘self’ can think, act and say correctly. So the whole essence is to free the ‘self’ from karma and that is called Dharma.

How should one go about doing it? One of the most widely used techniques is to watch the Karmas and dissolve them. However, it is not so easy. Even those who know about it, get deluded. So there are many techniques given by evolved people. Most of these are meant to prepare us so that we become able to witness karmas.

Somebody said, surrender yourself to God. Now, what does it mean? If you surrender yourself to god, then there is nothing of yours – no property, relationships or even your thoughts and emotions. A true surrender will free yourself from holding and clinging to anything - thoughts, worries, body diseases. At this point, you just watch. You don’t do anything, but just become a spectator. And in those watching moments, you can see karmas dissolving and you getting nearer to the ‘self’.

Somebody says, do fasting. When you decide not to take food for a particular period or take only specific food, something magical happens immediately. You had been obeying demands for food from body and mind all these days. They were masters and you were a servant. Suddenly by deciding, by taking a resolution, you become the master. It immediately gives you a transformation. It immediately revives you. It immediately makes you strong and slaves become slaves.

Then at some point, you feel hungry. This means karmas are coming out and this is the time to watch them. In normal routine, these karmas do not come out. They are lying deep. Only in extreme situation these will come out and at that time, you will overreact on the situation (leading to more karmas). So, here is the time. Watch them and dissolve them. Whenever you are not happy or feel sad or hurt, that is the best time to watch for karma. When you feel joy you cannot make yourself to watch karmas and they will not easily come out at that time. So watch for these moments. Fasting is nothing, but a means to create that situation.

Somebody says, repeat verses or some special words or chant some bhajans, etc. What happens when you do this? As you go on repeating, after sometime, you will keep repeating it, but your mind will be in the market or fighting with some friend or seeing some beautiful girl or playing some game. This is what happens most of the times and you feel happy that you chanted Ram Naam thousand times.

The intention here is like this. When you chant and repeat the verses, watch the chanting and the words. When you keep repeating, the efforts are not required in remembering. After sometime, it becomes automatic and effortless. Then comes the important step. If you are not conscious, then you will slip into day dreaming. But if you keep yourself alert, you will start witnessing the chanting and the words. Then you will realize that you are not doing it, it is happening. Then you see that you are watching and it is happening. And suddenly you are detached from the activity. Suddenly you go beyond your illusory self. Suddenly you know yourself as a distinct entity. And then everything becomes clear. From here the journey to realize the self starts. Bhajans, shlokas, names, whatever you chant or repeat, all have same effect.

There is no Dharma out there to protect you from accidents or death or to give you profit in business or to clear your exams or to give you a good wife or husband or to get your daughter married or to win you a lottery. Dharma can just let you meet yourself and to help you become free from slavery of emotional, mental and bodily demands and pressures, which exist in you in the form of karmic elements. Yes that’s it. Those who really know, understand that it is ‘everything’.

The Generation Gap

I entered the house and saw grandpa lying on the bed, reading newspaper. It has been long time since we sat together and had a talk. All these days I have been running around to prepare for my MBA entrance exams. Today, my action list was empty and was in a mood to relax.

He was still engrossed into the newspaper. I knew, what he would be reading. Or at least what would be the final interpretation of any news item. I have known him closely from my childhood and it took really long time to draw a picture, which can be considered close to reality. I still find him puzzling and not sure if he feels the same for himself.

He heard my footsteps and turned his head towards me. Slowly, he kept the newspaper aside in a gesture to start a talk.

I have always loved elderly people. I love their company. There is some kind of attraction in elders. It is the same attraction as we feel for children.

I do not find grandpa’s company interesting.

“Where have you been?” he asked to start the conversation, without actually being interested in the answer.

“Went to submit a form for college entrance examination.”

“It must have been very hot out there”

To talk about weather in terms of its extremity and problematic nature is one of his favourite topics. He is always concerned about the climate, whether it is cold or hot. He will always say “Never fight with nature. Better take precautions.”

I could not somehow relate with his views. I always thought that more I fight, more resistant I will become. Though, lately I have stopped revealing my views in front of him. He knows my views and knows that I do not agree with him. Even then there is something inside him (which I have never been able to understand), which makes him say the same lines again and again. And he says them repeatedly in the same style. He expresses his views whenever he gets an audience. I can narrate his complete talk along with him, without missing a word. But he does not like to be reminded that he has already told the same thing before.

“Not much”. I could not find any better words to avoid any discussion on climate. I always try to avoid topics, which I know will result in an argument with him and which will leave both of us with dissatisfaction on each other’s views. Though I am not always successful and for some of these occasions, I accept the blame for accentuating the discussion. I have an urge to speak against what I feel is not right and this urge takes opportunities from grandpa’s words. I sometimes wonder that even a stupid topic like climate can lead us to an argument. But other topics in this category are also equally stupid. Or may be what we talk is stupid. Or may be what we talk for is stupid.

“Sit here” He says so when he has been thinking to talk to me for a few days.

I sat at the corner of the bed. He got up, straightened himself and then got seated against pillow resting on the wall.

“I went to temple today and asked for everybody’s well being” It was start of another topic, which I knew would not end as easily as the previous one.

“I have full faith in God. He will take care of all of us. He is all powerful. Have you not heard about the miracle that happened while the temple was being built?”

I remained silent and it did not matter to him. I tried to remember when was the first time he told this to me and how many times have I heard it.

“What do you do for your morning prayers?”

“Nothing.” I remember telling this to him at different occasions and was wondering if he is asking me again to confirm it or to make me think again or because he actually forgot it.

“You must pray to God everyday. You must remember him, only then he will help you. It is like the commissioner. Only if you keep visiting him, he will remember your face and then will help you in eventuality. You must keep your presence with God”

“I do not need any help.”

“Don’t be arrogant. Everybody needs help and there are so many things which are out of our control and power. There, only God can help you.”

“But I do not want to beg in front of anybody”

“You call it begging? Why? Don’t you ask your father and mother for anything? Is it begging? Why can’t you ask God too?

“What should I ask God for?”

“For wealth, prosperity, peace and education”

“But I have all that already as much as I need.”

“Ask him to keep increasing that.”

“I have ability to increase that.”

“Do not argue with me”

“I am not. I am just telling what I think”

“Don’t try to be too intelligent with me. We have seen this world much better than you and you are trying to tell me that I am wrong. What do you know about the world?”

“I am not trying anything and I don’t think I am intelligent. I have not seen much of world. I am just putting my thought before you. You tell me where I am wrong.”

“You people think that you know everything and dismiss all faiths. But you cannot understand everything. This world is just Maya and there is lot beyond it. You try to reason out everything. Not everything is understood with reason. You need to have faith”

“Faith in what?”

“Faith in God, about his divine power and his ability to transform your life.”

“Does it mean that God helps only those who believe that he is powerful and he leaves others in their pity situation?”

“You have again started arguing.”

“Why do you think I am arguing?”

“Nothing can be done about this generation…..If you do not ask for help, how is he going to help you? And you cannot ask for help if you do not have faith in him.”

“But you told the other day that God is Antaryami and knows everything, even past and future. Why do I need to ask him, if he already knows it? Does he want me to kneel down first and then will grant my wish?”

“So what do you think? He is sitting free to check if you need anything? And you will sit like a stone here and he will come and fulfill all your wishes while you sleep?

“No. I mean to say that if I am working towards a goal and if there is something on which he should help, he need not wait for my plea. He, being the most generous one, can do it even without me asking. And if I do not need help, then I should not go to him for anything. In either case, there is no need to ask for anything.”

“Do you want to understand or you want to teach me lessons on God”

“Ok. Who is this God? How is he so powerful than others? Why would he help me? How he would help me? How would my prayer reach him, while I sit in the temple? If he is there in that stone statute, there are millions of them? Is he in all statues? How can he be in so many statues?”

“You are asking all atheist questions and I will not answer them.”

“Ok. Let us say, I need help. Tell me how by going to temple and making a prayer will help me. I am not able to make sense out of it”

“Why? You put your prayer in front of God and he will see that it is granted. If you do it with full faith, it will be granted. But if you go with all these stupid doubts, you will not be listened.”

“Ok. Let me understand this. I want to get admission to this MBA college. Now, if I ask him for help, will I get?”

“Yes. But with faith and not with your arguments.”

“But let us say I get that help and get admission, will it not be unfair on the other student who deserved the seat and lost it just because I prayed to God. Is God unfair? Or he loves flattery. So whoever comes to him will get the results and others will not, even if they work hard for it?”

“You said go to God as we go to father. But even father will scold me if I ask him for money after he has educated me and made me able to earn. So if God has made us capable of achieving all wealth, education, prosperity and peace, why would he listen to our demands, which we ourselves can fulfill?

“Ok, before you say that I am arguing again, let me ask you this. All these temples and monks say that this world is Maya – illusion. We should concentrate on Dharma and not get involved into worldly things. I assume that this is what God taught and monks are spreading. Now, if God taught us to get detached from worldly things and we go to him and ask for a good job, good wife, profit in business, will he not laugh at us? I guess, he would love if people ask for better ways to know the reality of life and to get rid of illusion. Why would he grant those wishes, which he has taught this world to renounce?”

“Don’t try to be oversmart. We are not saints, we are normal human beings. We need material things for our survival. And we need to move step by step. We cannot be spiritual in a day. If you want to listen to the experienced and elderly, then listen it properly. If you think that you are very smart, then do as you wish.”

“I do not intend to show my smartness, but this may be the way we think about the old teachings, which do not match with reasoning. But why do you get upset with these questions? Why do you think that our attitude is wrong? If I am raising a question or a doubt, you can simply correct me and tell me the right reasoning.”

“This is not the way to speak to elders. You must respect them and the rich knowledge they possess. You should listen to them and follow their advices. This is for your good only.”

“I would love to get any useful knowledge. And I surely respect elders for their rich experience. But does respect mean to follow things blindly, without applying own reasoning and judgement? Does respect means to become a dumb follower? I am here to listen to you and I will do it attentively. But if you will ask me do anything or to follow any advice, I will definitely ask why.”

“If I am raising doubts, which are stupid or baseless, tell me why they are stupid and baseless. But why to ask me to shut up and accept everything you say. If you want me to follow any advice, you also give me good reasoning to support it and resolve my doubts. It is very easy to say ‘Follow whatever I say’. But what I need is your efforts and patience to think about my requirements, my misconceptions and then help me get into the right direction. If you keep getting upset assuming that our attitude is wrong and we are arrogant, how will it help?”

I could feel the uneasiness in my voice and felt that my use of words and sentences needs to tone down. Grandpa now picked up a file from the shelf in an indication to end the discussion. His face had a clear expression, as after every such discussion, saying – “These youngsters think that they have outgrown everybody else. God only knows, how they should be made to understand things. Anyways, life will teach them lessons when time will come.”

He got engrossed into his files. I asked him if he would like to take lunch now. I conveyed the message to mother and came out for a walk. I tried to make sense out of our discussion and gave up immediately. I looked around at houses on both sides of the road and wondered if these also see similar discussions inside. I felt as if the whole city, whole country is echoing with the same arguments, most of them unspoken.

Is there is any better way to reconcile the two thoughts and the two generations?

LIFE

Life is not about 'GIVE' & 'TAKE'.
Life is about 'GIVE' & 'RECEIVE'